Thomas The Tank Engine & Friends: Into The Boob Verse.

Hot Off The Press

One morning, Ned wasn't feeling well. He wasn't steaming properly, and his driver and stoker couldn't make him start.

"This coal mustn't be sitting right with you."

His stoker explained.

"Seems dusty, and clogs your tubes. We can't clean it out properly until tonight."

Ned wasn't too pleased. He watched, as his guard returned from the shops, her eyes glued to her phone.

"What are you looking at?"

He quizzed rudely. His guard smiled.

"Oh, just an article on a man named John Mulane-"

"Can't ya get a newspaper to do that?"

"Why would I?"

She turned her phone in the blue engine's direction. On the screen was a website that seemed to be filled with news stories and other such things. Ned was baffled.

"No more use for zose old papers."

His driver whispered.

"Not vhen we can look at anyzing on our phones."

Ned didn't like this. As much as he'd never admit it, Ned was very old fashioned, and hated anything that seemed too modern, let alone anything he couldn't understand. This only further ruined his mood, and he sulked all day.

That evening, there was trouble. The Fat Controller spoke to some of his staff.

"Barry's been held up clearing a fallen tree on Edward's Branch Line. I need someone to fill in for him."

"Can't Stanley help?"

Douglas' driver asked. The Fat Controller shook his head.

"He's getting his plough refitted, I'll need to find a spare engine."

He looked to the yards, the only spare engine seemed to be Ned. The Fat Controller lowered his eye-brows.

"That'll have to do."

He thought to himself

Ned was fuming when he heard the news!

"Me!? On the midnight goods!? I most certainly will not!"

He snapped.

"I'm sorry, but you're the only available engine."

The Fat Controller explained.

"It's just for tonight. Besides, if you do a good job, I'll have the workmen look over those pesky boiler and tubes!"

Ned's crew liked the idea, even if Ned protested. The Fat Controller handed over a sheet of paper.

"I've posted your load onto the discord, but this should also help."

Ned's eyes glossed over the paper. It was covered with the sorts of things the trucks would be loaded with, from glasses to clay. The one that caught his eye however, was the newspapers, which seemed to only set him off even more. He snorted to the harbour, neither he nor his crew noticed sparks rocketed from his funnel.

A long time ago, the newspaper train was a run much like the post Thomas and Percy pull. It would be a few trucks, loaded to the top with the newest papers, hot off the press. However, as time went on, the train became smaller and smaller, before only one van was left. They would leave many of the papers with the post, while the rest were loaded into a van, that was shunted onto the midnight goods. Usually, Richard or Barry would put the truck at the back, as it would be uncoupled at Edward's station, but Ned was unaware, and in a weird way, he was almost too protective of it.

He shunted the last of his trucks onto the train. By then, he was feeling very stuffed up.

"We'll ask the workmen to look you over when we get to the works."

His stoker told him. But they'd never make it that far. Once all was ready, the guard blew her whistle! Ned jerked and tugged the train into motion! He found it hard to start!

"Come on! Come on!!"

He wheezed!

Thick black smoke poured from his funnel, as Ned passed the junction station. Ahead was Thompson's tunnel. While not often a problem, Ned was only feeling worse and worse. He charged into the tunnel, trying to move as fast as he could! This did the trick. With how enclosed the tunnel was, all the sparks that were like projectiles from his funnel flicked onto the train behind him. The newspaper van began to smoulder.

At last, Ned burst into the night air! His stoker mopped her brow.

"That tunnel was like a oven!"

She laughed. The driver paused for a moment.

"Zen, why is it still hot?"

They looked back, to see the van right behind them was ablaze!

"The newspaper vans on fire!!"

His stoker shouted!

"Fire!!"

Ned cried! His driver quickly brought the train to a halt, where Ned was uncoupled, and moved away from the burning trucks!

"Oh dear..."

He blushed.

The fire engines soon arrived, and the fire was safely put out. The Fat Controller wasn't best pleased, but knew it wasn't Ned's fault.

"I'm just grateful no one was hurt."

He turned back to the charred remains of what barely resembled the van.

"This won't do at all."

He sighed. Before a smile crossed his face.

"If you're feeling better, could you take the undamaged trucks to the works? I'll sort out the newspapers."

He spun around, Ned thought The Fat Controller may of been trying to hold back tears.

"We'll have a larger print tomorrow. Even if your little fire incident is included."

He paused, almost waiting for the right moment to finish.
"This story is bound to come, hot off the press."

Ned couldn't help but smile. While he still didn't like the idea of digitalised news, he thought, at least for that day, that they'd be very useful indeed.