Ghost Kiss

Deacon

     A woman I don't know shows up at the door just in time to help her move the boxes downstairs. I'm thankful for that. I listen to their entire conversation. The old Murdoch house. It's been a while since I've heard my last name. It's weird. "I guess your right but are those places haunted too?" Now they really have my attention. "I don't believe in ghosts," Lily says as she shrugs and pulls out one of my grandmother's photo albums. I haven't seen this album in years. I forgot these albums even existed.

     She opens it up to the first page. "Awe." Yea, I was a cute baby. I watch as they flip through the pages of my life. I'm looking at every page as if I'm seeing it for the first time just like they are. I see my grandmother. I haven't actually seen her since the day she died. I couldn't even go to her funeral. I never got to say goodbye.

     They get to the last photo in the album. It's a picture of me and my grandmother shortly before I died. This is probably the last photo ever taken of me. I'm wearing my favorite shirt and my grandmother is in her favorite dress.

     "Oh my god, he's fine as hell!" Her friend, Viv I guess is her name, says as she's eyeing the photo. Lily just rolls her eyes. I don't know how to feel about that. "What? Do you disagree? How can you look at this man and tell me that he's not the finest man that ever walked the earth?" Viv asks. I'm surprised, honestly. I mean, I never considered myself ugly, but mostly average. Nothing special that's for sure.

     "He is very good-looking," Lily says in a totally disinterested tone. I deflate. It doesn't matter anyway if she thinks I was a good-looking guy or not. But, for some reason, I wanted her to think more of me.

     The conversation turns to my grandmother in the photo with me. "She must have been devastated. It just goes against the natural order of things." I look at Lily, confused as to her meaning. Viv must be as well and I'm glad she asks about it. "A child loses a parent, they become an orphan, a husband loses a wife, he becomes a widower, and a wife loses a husband she's a widow. There's no name for someone who loses their child. It's just not supposed to happen that way. As you get older there are people in your life that you expect to lose. No parent expects to lose their child. It's not the natural order of things."

     She's right. She's absolutely right. My grandmother had already been through enough heartbreak losing her only son, my father when he died. He never even got to hold me since my mother was still pregnant with me. Then my mother died giving birth to me. It's how I ended up being raised by my grandmother. She had to say goodbye to her son, daughter-in-law, and her grandson. An entire family. Her family.

     "That's a hell of a way to look at it." Vivs right. My grandmother suffered more than her fair share of heartbreak. Most people would crumble under the weight of that level of depression. She didn't deserve it. My grandmother was a gracious woman.

     I miss most of their conversation as I'm caught in my own thoughts. When I tune back in, Lily is on her way back upstairs. Please don't tell me she's going to try and move the bed again. She barely did it before and I can't bear to watch her suffer in pain again. I follow her upstairs only to have my fear confirmed. She's already staring at the mattress like she's trying to figure out the best way to go about this. Why didn't she ask Viv to help her with this too? Why is she so against asking for help? I have to stop her before she hurts herself.