People always said love was supposed to be the greatest thing to experience in life, yet you had spent the last weeks drowning in numbness.
Maybe it wasn't love. Maybe it was just a stupid distraction from a life full of complications. Or maybe it had caused all the complications.
If this was love, it wasn't the kind of love you would see in the movies. This was heart wrenching and cruel. But why... all you ever wanted was her, and yet the two of you never seemed to be on time with each other. You were like parallel lines: always close - never together.
Was it you or the people surrounding you? Was it the season that pushed you backwards. The cold air and depressing grey fog. The sleet across the empty streets. Was it the town. The small town where everyone knew each other, and each others darkest secrets. Or was it just the universe doing everything in its power to keep you apart.
The thoughts wouldn't stop wandering. Not even when you were distracted by work or by bubbly friends. Nothing could put your mind on anything else, and you grew tired.
Your mind and heart were at war. Your mind wanting to forget everything and move on, while your heart kept hurting every time you thought about her, begging you to keep on trying even though your mind knew it was useless. This wasn't anything but an endless circle of bittersweet memories flashing through you, every day, every minute, every second.
You blew out the burning candle in front of you and got up from the couch that almost had a hole in it by now from where you used to sit. The further you walked through your house, the more it reminded you of her. The mesmerizing woman named Regina. Her dark locks she always used to swirl when getting nervous. Her endless amount of different blouses she always threw to the floor when making love, and her brown eyes you always found yourself getting lost in.
Oh Regina...
You turned off the lights in your house, getting ready to make your way to the grocery store you had visited at least 5 times this week. It was only Wednesday.
You had to keep your mind off of things. You couldn't help it.
You threw on a coat. A coat that if you tried hard enough you would still be able to smell her scent on it from the late nights you spent walking down Main Street, hand in hand. A tear escaped your eye as you locked your door. You quickly turned around, walking off your porch and hitting the side walk that was still covered in yesterdays snow.
The cool air was the only thing in a long time that had helped on the thoughts. It kept you distracted for a little while, just until it didn't anymore. You stepped foot into the local grocery store, rows of aisles waiting for you to study them. Your legs made their way over to the first one. Nothing special hit your eyes, and you continued to the next.
Your mind was sat on pause for a moment just until your eyes reached that one thing.
The cheapest boxes with frozen apple pie that you and Regina always used to share every time you got the chance. It could be after a long day at work for the both of you, or it could be at midnight when your cravings were at their highest. The two of you could always find an occasion to share an apple pie.
You wanted to buy one, just to bury yourself in more sadness... you were about to take one, but pulled your arm to yourself again.
Stop y/n you have to forget about her.
You turned your head to look at some other stuff, but now the thoughts about her had only grown stronger, and you knew they wouldn't go away before that box was in your cart.
You fought a hard fight in yourself, and eventually turned back, accepting your devastating fate that you were gonna miss her forever either way. You reached out for it and threw it into your cart, quickly continuing to feel less guilty.
