The Billionaire

Part 20 Mia

I slowly open my eyes as I hear the cars below us rumble on the passing street. Today is the day, huh? The day I leave Christian's house. It's not like I won't be back here. I sigh and turn around to face Christian. 'You're up already?' I ask him. 'Yeah. Well, you're leaving today, aren't you?' 'Yeah.' I say softly. I don't want to hurt him again, but he needs to understand that I have my own things to do. This was all merely a coincidence. I can't be staying here forever. I need to see and know truly what I'll get into. 'I want to spend some more time with you.' Christian says sadly. I understand his sadness, but I want my life. 'I'm sorry, Chris.' I say, caressing his cheek. He seems to brighten at that. 'I'll come visit. I promise.' 'Okay.' He says. I feel kinda bad and empty for leaving, but I have to do this. 'Come on. Let's go make breakfast.' I say, getting out of bed. 'Oh, no need. I've already had my maid cook something up for us.' 'Christian says. So rich. 

We both get out of bed and into the kitchen where our meals sit on the counter. 'You go sit.' Christian starts. 'I'll get the cutleries.' 'Okay.' I say, sitting down on the chair. Christian joins me a few seconds later and we dug into our food hungrily. 

'You know. Your maid is a very good cook.' I manage between bites. 'Yeah. She is.' Christian chuckles. We finish our meal minutes later and put the dishes in the sink. 'Just leave it there. Ella will do it later.' 'Ella? Who's Ella?' I ask, curious. Okay, and maybe a little jealousy. 'She's my maid. The one who is a very good cook.' 'Oh.' Phew. 'I see.' I say in relief. We walk into the bedroom and closed the door. 'So. Um. Do you wanna take a shower? A bath? Get ready?' Christian asks. 'Yeah. Yeah, I should.' I start walking into the bathroom. This feels so awkward! 'Um.' I turn around. 'Are you going to join me?' For some reason he looks stunned. We've done this before. 'Um. Yeah.' He replies. 'I'll join. If, you're okay with that?' He asks warily. 'Of course I'm okay with that. What do you mean?' I ask him. 'Right. Okay. I just don't want you to feel like you have to take a shower with me. I want you to have your freedom, y'know?' I smile at that. 'Mhm. I know.' 'Thank you.' I whisper. But I don't think he heard that.

We both take our clothes off and went into the warm spray of water. We're kissing, somehow. Passionately. Fiery. Affectionately. We're kissing like we're in a rush. Like, you're going to lose a loved one. I feel a twinge of regret and emptiness, build in the pit of my stomach. It's slowly rising. Swallowing me whole. I open my eyes to look at Christian. He's cradling my cheek. His eyes shut tight. His kiss frantic. Am I his only way of survival? Suddenly, I see a single tear, drip out of his eye. And then another. This is making me feel more regret. 

'Christian.' I whisper, breaking apart. It's my turn now to cradle his cheek. 'I'm sorry.' I whisper. Shit. This feels like I'm going off to war. I'd probably move in here in a few months. I swear this only sounds dramatic, but in real life, it feels so empty. I'm so uncertain of this. I don't know how to explain this. It feels like I'm losing my other half. Like Houyi and Chang'e. I feel these emotions so strongly, it's hard to leave. I want to, and I don't at the same time. This shit has got me fucked up. I know I was the one who said I wanted to be independent, but now I'm not so sure. It's funny what two days with someone could do to you.