After All These Years | ✔

15 - ZAC

It was the first Wednesday of December, and Arthur was running late.

He should have been walking through the front door of the shack 10 minutes ago.

Where is he? He should be here by now.

Carlie was screaming her lungs out in his arms, hungry and tired. She needed to sleep badly, but the girl was starving, and she wouldn't sleep for long on an empty stomach. Sure, Arthur didn't have age on his side, but he had been on time for the last 6 months and hadn't complained.

Finally he heard the slow, heavy steps on the front porch and rushed to swing the door open.

"Sorry, the town was crazy today. The only bad thing about Christmas," Arthur made little eye contact as he limped through the door, plastic bags in hand.

"Thankyou" Zac said appreciatively as he shut the door behind him and rushed over to the kitchen bench to sift through the contents. In front of him, Arthur lowered himself down into a chair, talking about how he hated waiting in line but Zac wasn't listening. He hurried to prepare Carlie's baby food with one hand, rocking her with the other. As soon as she felt the small spoon touch her lips, her crying stopped and tears froze on her cheeks. He returned to the couch and sat next to the old man, with Carlie opening her mouth wide and demanding a new spoonful every couple of seconds. Zac didn't even make an attempt to pay attention to what Arthur was saying; all he was focused on was slowing the heartbeat inside his chest.

It almost killed him to see little Carlie this way; uncomfortable and in pain, fully relying on him for everything she needed. It was the kind of responsibility that only came with having a child; nothing seemed to matter more than how they were feeling.

It was similar to the responsibility he put on himself when he took Lara away from her life. He still found it haunting that even over a year later, he just couldn't get her out of his head, couldn't forget. He saw her everywhere, all around the house, next to him as he woke in the morning, and every single time he looked at Carlie. If there was something he had learned since her death, it was this:

Everyone has meaning, in one way or another. Every person you meet forms a connection that may be strong or weak; an attachment that allows you to remember them, sometime in the future. When weak bonds break, the damage is minor. A little bit here, a little bit there. However, the strong connections are the ones that have been there for a long time; someone or something that means more to you. When those bonds break, they feel as though they take half of you with them, and you don't know who you are anymore.

Lara had managed to take almost everything he was.

Zac stared out the stained window, lost in thought.

"Hello... Zac?" Arthur tapped him lightly on the knee and Zac lifted his eyes, pretending to listen intently. "As I was saying, it never really interested me, I mean..." Arthur stopped talking and cocked his head, "You're not listening to me are you?"

Zac looked down at Carlie and let out a small laugh, "I guess not, sorry."

"I swear I never know where your mind is these days."

"Neither do I." But of course he did, his thoughts always swirled around a certain, blonde girl.

An awkward silence hung in the air for a few seconds before Arthur turned to face him in his chair. "What happened, Zac?" He took a long breath, his tone kind, "You never told me."

Zac was quiet for a minute, watching his daughter's eyelids droop and cover her blue eyes. For a second he thought about not telling the man, but he had kept everything inside for almost a year. Carlie's first birthday was in four weeks. Now that he had the chance to let everything out, he felt had no choice but to take it.