After All These Years | ✔

39 - CARLIE

Carlie stood on the shore, the wet sand beneath her bare feet solid and cold, wishing someone had invented an easier way to say goodbye. All she could do was gaze out over the blue water, trying to find a way to pull her heart away from its beauty without tearing it out altogether.

The beach was the first place she'd driven after passing her driver's test that morning, but now the last thing she wanted to do was get back on the road. It was barely half-past eight and a chill still hovered in the air from a cloud-less night, but behind her, the town was starting to come to life. Women were bringing their kids to play on the grounds near the sand, and shop keepers were unlocking their doors, flicking fluorescent lights on for a day of summer sales. The township was an image that had become so familiar to her, and it warmed her soul like a bonfire after a cold swim. It hadn't taken long before she fell in love with it all.

But that was the problem; when you fall in love, you give your heart. And there's no way to break such a strong bond without feeling like it's ripping you apart.

Saying goodbye to Clay and Elise Bennett had felt like that; like she was now destined to live a part of her missing. However, they'd been less like parents and more like mentors; guiding her, consoling her, and giving her an unsurmountable amount of grace. Nothing could stop those tears flowing when she pulled away from the beautiful house she had called home for a summer.

But now she was saying goodbye to the lake and its forests and everything around them. And that was another story altogether. It might take her longer to separate herself from the comfort of the thick woodland and its leaves that accommodated her so perfectly. She crossed her arms over her stomach, biting hard on her lips to keep from breaking down, knowing if she did, she might not have the strength to leave at all.

But when the noise of an old bicycle made her turn and she saw Louis trudging down the grass hill towards her, she almost broke.

He looked like home.

When he came close he started babbling; "Carlie, I've been thinking, and I –"

Louis stopped abruptly when Carlie stepped to meet him and pressed her cheek hard to his chest. She pulled her arms together around him, instantly accepting the comfort and confidence that flowed from him freely. Then his arms found their place around her and Carlie felt his chest concave as he sighed deeply.

When he pulled back after what seemed like many minutes, his hands dug into his pockets, pulling out a simple navy-coloured box and a CD case.

"Happy Birthday." He said simply, increasing the space between them so she could see her gifts. She smirked at him, reaching for the box and opening it to find a delicate necklace draping over the white silk inside. It was a small, round pendant; a tree and its branches curving up within a silver circle.

"I don't want you to forget your time here." He paused, "Well...I just don't want you to forget me."

That got a smile out of her, as she remembered their first meeting; all the times he had helped her around or over trees on their walks, and that one night when she had felt the rough bark on her back, there to steady her when her world was spinning. The pendant of the tree was sentimental, which made it perfect.

Carlie reached and lifted her long hair, staring out over the lake again as Louis fastened the necklace. When she turned to face him again, he was serious; the lines between his brows running deep again.

"Listen, Carlie, I know you hate goodbyes so I'm not going to say that. But I wanted to say that I'm sorry. You deserve someone to love you with no strings attached, no hidden agenda or ulterior motives. I wanted so badly to be that person, and I'm sorry it didn't end up going that way."

Carlie tried to interject – to tell him that all her anger fell away as soon as she laid eyes on him again – but he silenced her, "I just...I think you should be loved the right way." He shrugged, then added, "And for the right reasons."

She felt her heart pull towards him and his words, and couldn't help but soften. It was something about the way he looked at her, with his brows lifted like this was as tough for him as it was for her. The smooth way his words tumbled out from a place that was so strikingly honest.

Carlie breathed, "I think..." She started, looking down at the necklace. "I'd like to think that I know you, and from what I've picked up, you somehow see me in a way I never thought I could be seen. I feel like I'm only good-looking because you say that I am. So many times I only held on because you were holding me. You've changed the way I think about so many things, Louis, and I don't... I don't see how that can ever be a wrong thing."

Louis let sorrow tinge his smirk as he reached up to drag hairs away from Carlie's face, "You're a beautiful soul, you know that? I don't think you even realise how tough you are."

Carlie beamed then, noticing his slightly blushed cheeks and realising then just how blessed she was to have someone that made leaving so hard. She turned the CD about in her hand, "I wish I had something to give you in return."

One side of Louis' lips lifted up in a sad curve, and he took the disc from her, sliding it into the long pocket of her hooded sweatshirt, "Just tell me you'll miss me, and I can hold onto that."

She reflected his expression and stepped into his embrace again, trying to soak up the feel of him against her. "I will miss you." She breathed against the material of his sweater, "Like crazy."

Then they walked back across the sand and up the bank, his hand solid and reassuring around hers. And they leant gently against her car, speaking soft assurances that left them both teary-eyed. Then Louis pulled away and opened her car door for her, holding his brave face intact until she denied his invitation and went straight to him, pressing her mouth against his in a final goodbye. Then she lowered herself from her toes, brushed a tear from his faintly freckled cheek, and turned away.

Her heart beat deafeningly loud in her ears as soon as she pulled the door closed, turned the key and felt the hum of the engine all around her.

And she didn't look back until she had reached the spot where the car park met the main road. She looked in the mirror to see him, standing in the same place with his hands in the pockets of his torn jeans, against a background that almost matched the wonder of him. 

_______

;( sad sad stuff. 

Sorry for the late update, it turns out I didn't get much writing done in my time off. Really need to focus!! 
Also, just thought I'd let you know that if you have any ideas for this book, you can always message me! I'm always open to some inspiration/visions for the book that you might have :)
As always, thankyou so much for reading. Love you xx PhoenixLA