MY ENDLESS LOVE FOR YOU.

CHAPTER-41

"Let your tears water the seeds of your future happiness."

PRITHVI

She was reminding me of my promises.

I chuckled at the irony. I swirl the glass in my hand and stare at the addictive drink. I fought hard and strong not to give up these dangerous addictions. There was a time when my day wouldn't end without losing my senses to this habit.

But Ma would have been upset and ashamed of me. That fear was enough to pull myself out of it. I lived clean and sober for years. Until I fell in love. With someone whom I was certain wouldn't love me back.

One weak moment the old habits sneaked back in. Still, I was in control. Then my destiny took pity I guess, my love was reciprocated. And I got married. The turning and depressing point was not all love stories are of a simple formula- fall in love mutually, get married then have endless happiness.

Life refused to work on simplicity. Love was and never could sustain any relationship. Trust, honesty, loyalty, and respect were equally unapologetically significant aspects of a relationship. If any one of these were missed, the whole relationship would tremble under life testaments.

Addiction was a safer option than falling in love. At least the former would be in our control but falling for someone we'll be in their control.

How did I fool and betray him by signing divorce papers and making him sign them too, right? How I took advantage of his blind trust in me, again?"

I squeeze my eyes shut to stop the constant rung of those words. Her voice. I was on the floor of our bedroom, with a second bottle of alcohol, and cursing myself for accidentally hearing that wretched truth. I shook my head in retrospective conclusion. I was meant to hear her.

'Kya kasoor tha mera. Sirf pyaar hi toh kiya. Zindagi toh chalo pehle se hi beimaan thi, mere yaar ne bhi wafadaari nahi nibhayi. Uski bhi galati nahi thi, kami toh mujh mehi rahi hogi.'

{What was my fault? I only loved her. Life always betrayed me but now even my love wasn't loyal anymore. Not completely was her fault, I lacked somewhere.}

"Raj..." she trails off, shakily.

I swig the drink in along with the lump in my throat. "Promise is such a fickle word but could give someone hope for a lifetime or ruin them forever if broken. It's funny how a few statements create a permanent effect in your heart, isn't it?" I press my fist on my forehead. The painful headache was another hindrance to speaking. Maybe it was heartache. I continued through the pain, "Tute vadon ka sirf dard jhel sakte hai,"

{Only pain remains behind broken promises}

As soon as she was near, I clutched her wrist and pulled her down on the floor. She stumbles in shock and leans on me for support. Gazing in her tearful eyes, I pick up a pillow from the couch and place it down. Gently, I make her sit on the soft cushion. The floor was too hard and cold for her.

Sniffing through the bitter odor of the alcohol, I search for the AC remote and quickly turn it off. I frowned noticing her mild shivers and stumbling my balance a bit, I reached for my jacket and wrapped it around her. Tried to at least. For some reason, it kept falling. All through the while her gaze was on me.

"It's zipped up," she mumbles feebly.

I chuckle once, then twice, and end up into a round of laughter. For no reason. I was truly drunk, huh? Good. Because I'd be vulnerable and was already hurt, I wouldn't mask them with my anger and unknowingly take it on her.