One More Step

Interruptions

Heyyyyy mfs, so this ones kinda long and has a l o t of dialogue, sorry about that, but I hope you enjoy none the less. :P 

Also, TW for the beginning- nothing actually happens, just talking about thoughts of bad stuff. Please stay safe and put yourself first. Ill put a * when it is over.

"Thank you." Rin's voice was hoarse from crying and he could barely hear himself. Bon's words didn't magically change everything, but hearing them when he thought he never would hear anything like them made him think just  a little that it could get better. 

"Of course, you deserve this at the very least." Bon's voice was also rough and he had a soft look of sadness on his usually grumpy features. "And Rin," Rin looked up into Bon's eyes at this, a light weight settling in his stomach again at Bon's tone. "Will you please talk to me if you ever get thought or even a feeling of hurting yourself again? Text or call me even. Just please." Rin could practically feel the hurt in Bon's voice, and he felt a pang in his heart from it. 

"Okay. I will." Rin looked into his lap as he spoke. In his mind he knew he wouldn't, but he didn't want to worry Bon more than he already had. He wasn't ready to be that trusting and open. He felt bad for lying as Bon's face softened at his words. 

"Thank you." There was a slight relief in Bon's words, which made the steadily growing stone in Rin's stomach drop even more. 

*

The quiet atmosphere between the two was broken quickly by the sound of keys jingling in the lock in the door. Rin shot up, every muscle tensed. His eyes darted to the bathroom, deciding if he should lock himself in it again or face the person coming in. 

Rin jumping up made Bon flinch and he immediately grabbed Rin's hand, stopping him from leaving. Rin looked down at Bon, his eyes so full of fear that Bon let go, shocked. Rin instantly shut himself in the bathroom again, leaving Bon stunned. 

When Shima finally managed to get the door unlocked, he burst in, groaning as he did so. 

"Ugghh, you will not believe what Mr. Okumura made us do after you left." Shima tossed his bag down on the ground, starting to rummage through his dresser for clothes to wear tomorrow. "We have to do an extra assignment on the anatomy of the demons in today's lesson. Can you believe that?" He whined as he haphazardly shoved clothes in his bad.

"That doesn't seem too bad." Bon replied in a matter of fact tone, making Shima turn his head so fast Bon thought he could hear his bones crack.

"Well of course you would think that! You're like a super nerd." Shima glared at Bon, who could almost feel the curses that were being thought towards him. "And anyways, why do you need me to go? You having someone over?" Shima wiggled his eyebrows as he said this and Bon felt his ears go hot.

"No! I don't feel very well and I don't want you to get sick either." Bon's signature disgruntled look was back on his face and Shima just laughed.

"Aww, you care about me! You really are just a bog softy under that bad attitude of yours." Bon could feel his anger practically boiling under his skin at this point.

"Shut up, I just don't want to have to deal with you being sick and annoying." Bon could feel a headache forming and just hoped that Shima would hurry it up so Rin could get out of the bathroom. He felt bad for the raven haired boy, especially since he was hiding from one of his own classmates who used to call him his friend.

"Whatever." Shima grumbled, grabbing his messily packed bag. "I'll see you tomorrow I guess. Feel better!" and with that he had left the room, the door shutting behind him with a click.

After a couple minutes, Bon could hear the lock on the bathroom door open, and the door cracked open just enough so he could see Rin's tired looking eyes.

"Is it clear?" Rin's voice was small, smaller than it had been before, which crushed Bon's heart even more.

"Yea, Shima's gone." with that, the door opened more and out stepped Rin, who was looking around wearily. 

Flashback to Rin's POV when he locks himself in the bathroom yet again also careful cuz there is lots of bad self talk and possible thoughts of bad stuff so just proceed with caution as always.

Rin slammed the door behind himself, shaky hands turning the lock on the the knob. His breath started to get faster and he covered his mouth so he wouldn't make any noise. What if he hears me? I should have left as soon as I woke up. Will Bon tell him everything? Will he reveal how weak and disgusting I really am? I should have left. I should have left. I should have left. The thoughts in Rin's head raced around and repeated the same words over and over again. I was stupid for trusting him. Why would anyone help a monster like me. I'm just a freak. 

The muffled voices on the other side of the wall suddenly grew louder, causing Rin to flinch. He tried to steady his heart as he put his ear to the door to hear better. What he heard didn't surprise him. They were just talking about an assignment Yukio gave them. Hearing that Bon wasn't talking about him made him let out the breath he had been holding. Of course Bon wouldn't do that. He isn't bad like me. He isn't a monster or a demon. The slight smile that had grown on Rin's face quickly disappeared. He took a step away from the door and turned to look at himself in the mirror. His reflection stared back at him but it didn't look like him. His face was pale and his eyes were red and dried tears made paths down his cheeks. He looked thinner than he used to and his hair was a disheveled mess. He couldn't stand looking at himself but he couldn't look away. 

Getting closer to the glass, he pulled up his lip to reveal his extra sharp and long canines. He hated them. Hated how they showed when he smiled or opened his mouth at all. Rin ran his thumb along the bottom of one of them, pushing down until scarlet welled up and poured down his pale skin. He didn't even wince at the pain pulsing through it as he watched it close. Right. I forgot I healed so fast. Really is proof I am a monster. Rin looked at the white bandages neatly wrapped around his left forearm, he hated them. Unraveling them, the once red lines on his arms were now just subtle white scars. Rin was almost glad they were gone, but shame welled up with each raised line that he traced them with his fingers. He felt guilt for making them, but not enough to drown the thoughts in the back of his mind telling him that there wasn't enough. Telling him he wasn't enough. He thought about how easy it would be to add a couple more, to make the crimson spill onto the floor again. 

Rin was abruptly shaken from his thoughts by the sound of the door to the dorm room open then close. He quickly wrapped his arm up again, not bothering to try and make it look at nice as Bon had. His hand hovered by the lock, the same feeling of fear washing over him that he felt the first time he had locked himself in Bon's bathroom. With a deep breath, Rin turned the lock and opened the door slightly.

"Is it clear?" he hated how much his voice shook, silently cursing himself for how weak he was. 

"Yea, Shima's gone." Rin opened the door more, letting himself out into the room. He saw Bon still on the bed, and looked around, making sure he was really telling the truth. When he saw the coast was clear, Rin walked back over to Bon, sitting back down on the soft comforter, looking anywhere but the person next to him.

"I'm sorry." Rin felt so stupid for having to hide in another room just because someone entered the room. Bon must think I'm such a loser now, if he didn't already. 

"Don't worry about it Rin. You don't have to apologize." Bon put his hand down next to Rin's almost close enough to touch it.

"Okay. Thank you Bon." Rin looked down at his hand on the bed beside him, he didn't know why, but for some reason he wished Bon put his hand just a bit closer. Just enough so that he could feel the warm and calloused hands on his own. He would have to address this at some other point, Rin felt completely exhausted physically and emotionally and was not in the mood to think too hard on the way he was starting to feel comfortable and at ease.

Thank you for reading!!!!! This was a bit longer than the other updates, and I hope you like it! It is late now, and I am going to go to bed. Or read fanfiction. One or the other. Anyways, have  a good day or night and drink water and eat food mfs! Love yall!!!!!