Bully stepbrother

72. Blocked

CADEN

I'm familiar with tension, but I have not let myself feel the fear of losing someone since the day my mom walked away when I was little and took the last solid thing in my life with her.

You see, I lost Cara because I had to follow after a ball we were playing with. I lost Mom just because I couldn't convince her I was doing okay under the bathtub when she drowned me.

Now I am losing Mad because of the wrong choices I keep making.

Right now, Dad is talking through the speaker of my phone, but I am stuck repeating today in my head. Do you know that kind of regret where you wish you could have done more? That's what gnaws at me. I wish I had kicked Ashanti harder.

Ever since Mad walked away from me, fear has lived under my skin with an itch I cannot scratch. I had a bad feeling, but I didn't know it will be Ashanti worming his way close enough to put his mouth on hers. The whole time, he had been perfecting the act of a good friend. He had me believe Mad when she says she is safe with him, but when have pretty girls ever really been safe with male friends? That is why, no matter how annoying I get, I follow Mad around, just close enough to keep her safe.

"Caden, are you hearing me?" Dad practically yells. He must have been asking something.

"Uh, yeah. What?" I exhale by the window and stare down at the street, counting cars instead of listening.

"So I will work on it," he says, and I realize I have not heard a word.

"Work on what?" I ask, confused.

"So you were not listening." Frustration bleeds through his tone.

I exhale again, feeling totally drained.

"Can you at least have functioning ears, Caden? That is the bare minimum I expect from you." There it is.

"What do you want, Dad? I have things to do," I say, rubbing my forehead, wanting this conversation over.

"Do not give me attitude. Be grateful I am still here for you. I am all you have, and I am still willing to show up despite everything you have done."

He keeps going, and every muscle in my body locks. It is not the yelling; I am used to yelling. It is the way he brushes fingers over Cara's death without saying her name, the way he reminds me I had a hand in it. That will always hurt.

I have nothing to say that will make any of it less true, so I stay quiet.

He continues. "Our lawyer and I have decided you both are getting a transfer. You are leaving that state in case Esteban gets released. We do not know his intentions."

Honestly, I would not mind leaving, but I am not just me. I am the guy who stood by the door across the hall when Mad opens her acceptance letter and sees Stanford printed in bold at the top. I am the one who watches her face light up like someone plugs a string of fairy lights in every fibre of her being.

She loves this place.

She already thinks I am ruining her life. Now my dad is planning to erase the one good thing she has worked for.

"No," I bark into the receiver before I can stop myself.

"What?" Dad sounds genuinely taken aback.

"I can protect us. We don't need you," I snap.

"Caden, look, I am being patient with you. Do not infuriate me. You know I can do worse." His voice drops into that quiet threat that twists my lungs. He does not make empty threats. I know better, growing up in that house.