Bully stepbrother

65. Guardian angel

MADISON

Fear is being stranded in a place someone brings you to, where transportation suddenly becomes a limited option.

My late-night flight lands in SJC at midnight, and I grab a cab to a hotel in Palo Alto, ten minutes from the health center. I want to make my life easier, since I don't think I'll be checking out soon, not now that staying with Asher is off the table and getting an apartment will take a while.

Hotel life it is for me. So Serena van der Woodsen, except without a parent.

I don't have clothes or anything, but the shower feels like the hug I need right now.

There isn't much to do afterward. I get into one of the free robes and cocoon myself under the sheets, trying to bury my thoughts so I can sleep, but rest is not for me. That's when the realization really hits, and I finally comprehend the trouble I've concocted since coming to school on the West Coast.

First, there is Caden, who should be my stepbrother, not someone I nurture the L-word for. Then I make a friend, thinking I'll have him forever, but he ends up running out on me. The ideal man who should be my steady decision, surprises me with a gateway out of my life. It turns out I cheat on him on the big screen, and that moment is here to stay forever. And don't even get me started on Caleb.

Am I the problem?

I need a drink.

The phone is an arm's length away, so I do myself the honor and call the front desk to bring up a bottle that doesn't overcharge me, but they demand ID. I can't believe I'm saying this, but thanks to Lara Cameron, the fake identity Caden got me a while ago, I get my drink.

All of that help overloads my emotions, and the overstimulation turns into a wild, messy dance to the songs I play to cry out my agony.

At this point, Caden can't even be blamed for the wrecked state of my life anymore.

I don't have an alarm or a loud roommate to interrupt my sleep. I have a headache instead. It doesn't come gently. When it strikes my soul and jolts me awake, it's already noon, and I'm already an hour late for work.

"Shit, shit, shit."

I rush to pull myself together for the day, losing another half hour on top of what I already wasted sleeping. By the time I'm dressed, I look like I need two gallons of emergency coffee and makeup to paint over the bags under my eyes, but I don't have any.

Today is going to be funny.

It shouldn't be, though. All I have to do is be honest... or maybe lie in my attendance report. Sickness always helps.

I call a cab, and it drives me straight to the center while I maintain my morning streak of not checking my phone. Who knows what disaster is in there, but for now, I stay in my little bubble of cluelessness.

It's Friday. The center is short-staffed, but my arrival time will still be recorded, so help me God.

"Good morning, Miss Thaddeus." Kevin, one of the security guards at the entrance, opens my door.

"Same to you, Kevin." I give him a bright, practiced smile, the kind I always use in times of crisis, and head inside.

Julie is at her station, probably on another round of coffee.

"If it isn't my favorite intern," she says when she sees me. Then her smile falls when she really takes me in.

I slump against the desk with a sigh. I guess my cover is blown.

"Girl, what happened to you? You look like you haven't showered, you cried all night, and you're extremely caffeinated."

"All of that is true except the caffeine, which I so need right now." I pout, and she gives me that pity-aww face moms do.