Your Warmth

Am I dreaming?

Once again I awake. Though, it took me a minute to remember what happened and where I was. I have no idea what today will bring. No one really said anything. Maybe I won't do anything.

I walk down to the kitchen. My stomach was growling and I knew that I needed food soon. Nikolai and Ivan are standing in the kitchen and turn to look at me as I walk in.

"Goodness! I'm glad you finally have awoken! I was getting worried." Nikolai gives a relieved expression.

"What do you mean?" I ask in confusion.

"Dear, it's 1 in the afternoon."

"Oh, my body must not be used to the time change yet," I say.

"Perhaps, but you had quite the day yesterday as well, that certainly didn't help. Nevermind that though, Ivan will reheat some food for you so that you can at least have some lunch."

"Alright, thank you" I say turning to Ivan. He nods and starts to reheat some food.

A few days had gone by, and mainly consisted of Nikolai showing me around a bit more and learning a bit more about their work. That time usually got interrupted, though. Fyodor often needed Nikolai for his work, so I would be left alone and go back to my room. There were a few books in there that I started reading. I didn't mind being in the house all that much. It was a nice change of pace from what my life had been before. Nikolai and Ivan have been kind enough, but I have yet to see Fyodor.

Knock knock.

I walk over to open the door. I had caught a glance at the time to see that it was almost 7 at night.

"Sorry about that, but that may happen quite often. Dostoy's work is very important as you know, and I will assist when he needs it. But, it seems you found yourself a book to read." Nikolai says as he walks into the room.

"Oh, yeah. It's actually quite interesting."

"Eh, I'm not much of a reader, but Dostoy is. Anyhoo, I want you to use your special ability!" Nikolai quickly changes the topic.

"You want me to use my ability? Why?" I question. I don't like using my ability, usually because it leads to quite an interesting mental episode afterwards. Of course the severity depends on how important the object I took from someone was.

"Well, I'm curious. I want to see it in action!"

"Do you volunteer to give something up then?"

"Of course silly! I wouldn't ask and then expect you to do it to someone else! But do try to take something simple."

"Alright, if you say so." I start to activate my ability. My ability is touch activated. It's how I look at a person's mind to see what they love and hold dear to them. I put my hand on Nikolai's shoulder, and things he loves start to flood my mind. Fyodor, of course, was one of them. But I must look for something small. Ah, here! A hat that Ivan bought for him. No matter what, what I take from someone means something to them. I've never felt bad for taking from someone before. This is the first time. And so, it's gone. I remove my hand from Nikolai and look back up at him.

"Done, dear? What did you take?"

"A hat that Ivan gave you." I reply with a slightly guilty face. I hate that I feel bad about it, but I know in a little bit I won't have any remorse.

"Ah don't feel bad about it, I told you to take from me afterall." he replies, patting my head.

"Right..." It's starting. It's starting sooner than I thought. My mind is slipping away again. Nothing feels real. Am I dreaming? How horrible am I? I took yet another thing that someone loved. But why should I feel remorse? Do I even feel bad about it? No, no I don't. I shouldn't feel bad about anything. It's all his fault. My father did this to me. It isn't my fault. Why am I here yet? I should end this. End it all. End it, end it, end it...