Your Warmth

My Blessing

Planning is all I do. I have every hour of every day planned out. I know exactly what's going to happen before it happens. That's at least what I'd like to think. However, no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to get it perfect every time. It irritates me. This is yet another time I didn't have everything perfect.

How did I not know of Poe's possession of The Book? I've tracked its whereabouts for years now, and never did I trace it back to him. I only knew of her Father's possession of it, but Poe? This is quite peculiar then. Poe was part of the Guild who also wanted the Book. He must've not said anything. If that's the case, it seems as though he was quite the rogue member.  

I've been in my office most of the time for the past few days. I've barely had any interaction from anyone else. I've seen Irene a few times. She'll give me a worried glance, and I give her a weak smile. I'm exhausted. But I can't tell her that. She'd worry. I can't let her worry. I've already done enough to her. I don't want to see her so fearful and anguished like I did a few days ago. I especially don't want myself to be the cause of that. I'm extremely lucky that she decided to stay with me. That is a second chance I did not deserve. I'm no longer attaining The Book to get rid of abilities for my own benefit, but I want to get rid of them for her. Her ability is like mine. It torments the user. I don't want to suffer that, and I don't want her to suffer that either. 

I still can't find anything that would give away The Book's exact location. I know for sure someone had to create Sigma after that though. The Decay had a page, though even then I'm not quite sure how we got it. Fukuchi was quite secretive about it all. Plus, he was directly connected to the government, so he was able to get access to more information. That was probably the only intelligent thing he did.

The only thing I've thought of to do is find Poe. If I find him, it'll be easy enough to get information out of him. Having Irene there will definitely help him uncover information. Unfortunately, finding him won't be that simple. Sure, he was with the guild. But that's exactly the problem. Though they aren't together anymore, they were notorious for knowing exactly what their members were doing and where they were. I may be elusive, but the guild was secretive to the rest of the world. My relations with them fell apart, and ultimately Fitzgerald helped Dazai get me arrested. Unfortunately, they're going to be difficult to get around, even for me.

Our journey to America has been in the works for a bit now. I would rather not travel more, but it must be done. Irene will, of course, have to go. I suppose Nikolai will be useful as usual to get us out of any potentially messy situation, and Sigma's ability can be a last resort. However, if Poe sees us, he'll certainly become suspicious. He has connections to the Detective Agency now. It'll be best if he only sees Irene. Everything else will have to be a backup plan. Even then it might be odd for Irene to suddenly want to see him again. Then again, maybe it's common for people to meet up at some point after going years without seeing each other. 

These plans have been coming along rather quickly, but I can't continue much longer I'm afraid. I'm getting rather exhausted. I can't afford to sleep though. So much has to be done...

"Fyodor, wake up."

I shoot up. Damn it! I fell asleep, "No, no, no... I need work done. I need to get work done now."

"Fyodor, stop. You aren't getting any more work done. You're going to rest the rest of the day. It's about 6 now. You should eat and then get some sleep, and not sleep at your desk." She lays her hand on my back.

"Irene, I have too much work to do. I can't afford to-" I wearily turn towards her.

"You can and you will." I've not become used to her becoming so assertive. It seems like she's become rather comfortable with me. Either that, or she's simply fighting back. I have pushed her around quite a bit.