Love In Silence

6.

While I was excited for my college life, someone came into my life. My cousin sister's friend, Jeet. The officer guy. I was still recovering from my first breakup and was still immature on these love and trust things. At first, we just used to talk mostly in chat but then one day he asked to meet my friend. I thought he had a crush on my friend that's why when we met I was quite most of the time. The meeting went well. After some days he left for his job but we were still messaging each other on social media. He seemed like a nice guy.

A few months passed. And one day while we were talking he suddenly proposed me. But the next moment I rejected him. Because I was not ready. Not ready for another heart break, not ready for forgetting my first love, not ready for feel again all those emotions . After that I stopped talking to him and everything went back to normal.

A few more months passed. Jeet came back again on his holidays. This time my friend asked him to meet and he agreed without any question. My friend was on a good term with him and they were quite friendly with each other. We met again and I was still same as our first meet but this time I felt shy. He's really something. He even noticed how many moles I have on my face something that even I had never noticed so carefully. Everything went well . I went home successfully all blushing, thanks to Jeet .

After that we again started talking. Jeet was always trying to make me feel special, he also wrote poems for me, while I was completely oblivious that those were for me. I also slowly started feeling something for him. My face started to glow because I got someone's attention and care.

You know when someone makes you happy, gives all their affection and care and your whole body reacts to it in reply as your skin glows and every part of your body cells dance when you talk to them.

That's what I felt that time. Attraction. Affection. Care.

And I thought this time I should not let go of this person. The person who cares for me, who really likes me.

Few more months passed and I finally accepted his proposal.

Somewhere in my heart I knew I hurried in things which I shouldn't.

A week passed and I already started to realise things. I felt small around him or I should rather say he made me feel small. I felt like he just pressurized me to love him, to say something sweet to him without asking if I felt something or not. He always said that he's the only one who's putting effort in our relationship. He always wanted something more to me while I just started to like him.

I felt suffocated with him.

That's why I broke up with him.

I forgot that relationship is not only about taking care of someone and liking them, there's more.

When you care for someone and love someone then you always remember that everyone has self respect, has their own decisions . When you love someone you have to respect their decisions, respect their personal space, trust them (not blindly), wait for them while they become more comfortable around you, trying to understand them.

These all are difficult things but not impossible, atleast you can try.

After I broke up with him I totally changed. I started talking less and started to be less open with everyone.

It's not like that I ever loved him but still I felt sad because again it was me who broke up. I started to feel that I was the one who was the problem.

And again I was at same stage as earlier. But this time I was mentally prepared that I wouldn't bother anyone with my personal issues. I don't want to be weak in front of anyone.

But even then I never thought that love is a bad thing. Love is pure.

There are so many peoples who do wrong things while being in relationship and put all the blame on love.

But I still believed in love with all my heart.

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