Love In Silence

8.

There was one thing that I liked about Neel and was grateful to him for but it also confused me alot as well. It was about why he chose me to be his friend? It's not like he didn't have any choices. So why did he choose me?

I always asked him about it but he always ignored me.

It's not like I am insecure about myself or something but it bothered me because there was a huge difference between our personalities. I am a pessimist and he was an optimist, I was tough to approach while he is  a social butterfly. I never learned how to express my emotions and he was a pro at it. When it comes to emotions I was as cold as ice and he was as warm as sun. We enrolled in college at the same time but he had a bunch of friends and I only had him.

He was bubbly, funny, every girl's favourite, every boy's best buddy, looked always fresh, easy to approach and so much more.

He was everything I was not.

It's not like I hated people or didn't like to be with them. It's just how I was, I was always like this. If I didn't get comfortable around you then I would put a barrier between us.

People always told me that I'm weird, I have zero emotions and am not talkative but Neel never complained about anything.

It was like he understood me.

He always said, I like to share silence with you.

And I always felt warm over his sentence.

It was December, means holidays. All the students who had come here from different places were going back to their homes for vacations. Except Neel. I tried to talk to him about why he was not going back to his house but he didn't answer me and lately he was also trying to avoid me, but I also knew that he was not avoiding me but my questions.

It had been a week since Neel showed up in college, he had also switched off his phone. And I was starting to get extremely worried.

It was already the 8th day but he had still not showed up in college, I couldn't help myself and went to Neel's apartment. I had never been there before but Neel told me his address once. It was just a 15min walk from my house. I went to his apartment to check up on him.

I had mixed feelings about how this could go. I was worried, scared and nervous at the same time.

When I reached there, I went in front of his door and breathed deeply as I rang his doorbell. No one came or answered. I again pressed the doorbell and once again there was no answer. I got more worried.

I then proceeded to ring the doorbell continuosly for 15minutes. Still there was no sign of someone. Then I decided to try call him right from the door. ' Neel it's me , Niti.. ' I heard some noises and concluded that Neel was inside for sure but was avoiding coming out. I started thinking of the ways in which I could bring him out of his house when an idea popped up in my mind. Then again I started to shout , 'open the door, Neel .. it's cold here and I forgot to wear coat... OMG it's so co....'

Suddenly he came out and grabbed my hand and pulled me inside with one stroke.
And then I saw him. He was in a mess, he looked mess. I could tell he was hurt, where... I don't know and that's why I went there.

He looked at me with a concerned expression. 'WHERE ARE YOU HURT? WHY DID YOU COME HERE AT THIS HOUR? IT'S 10PM NITI, you should go to your home.' he started scolding me as I stood there with a blank face. I said nothing. He again tried to grab my hand and started to walk into his room but this time I jerked my hand away.

'AND WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING, NEEL? IT'S BEEN A WHOLE FUCKIN' WEEK. AND WHY DO YOU HAVE THIS DAMN PHONE? THROW IT AWAY. YOU CAN CALL ME TO THIS DAMN PHONE, RIGHT? BUT NO. YOU WANT TO PLAY HIDE AND SEEK. OKAY CONTINUE. '

My voice started to crack up as tears filled my eyes (I don't know why) and I started look at the floor. He was stood there, his both hands free and he didn't say anything. His face was also down so I couldn't see his face.

I started talking again 'Do you know there are people outside of this fuckin' room who care for you? Or are you that clueless? Do you know how much scared and worried I was because of you.' The last line I said was almost a whisper but he heard it. I stopped and turned towards the direction of the door. I again started to speak but still looking at him 'You don't want me here, right? Okay I'm going. I was only here because I wanted to check on you. But I guess I was worried for nothing. Good night'.

I started to walk out from his room but suddenly he stopped me by grabbing my hand and turned me in front of his own face. I was shocked at his sudden reaction but then I saw his face. He was crying.

His tear filled eyes were looking into mine and it made my heart sink.

And then he finally said in a broken voice,

'Please don't leave me'.

He said and then looked down at the floor with teary eyes. My heart broke after seeing him in this state. And without wasting any time I quickly moved towards him and pulled him into a tight hug as he placed his whole body freely on me like he had waited so long for someone's shoulder or arms for support. I gently patted his back and we both said nothing for few minutes. I knew he needed some time to let it all out, all his sadness and pain.

I let him cry because he looked like he had controlled himself from crying for too many days.

Sometime people don't have strength to cry alone, they need someone's warmth, their welcoming arms and heart. That someone they love and trust.

We still stood there in front of his door while hugging each other and he was crying continuously.

After 10mins he stopped crying but was still sniffling. I held his hand and went inside the house. I made him sit on the sofa and then looked around for the kitchen and went there to get water. After filling the glass up, I went to him and gave him the glass and then sat on the floor leaning on the sofa next to Neel.

After giving him some time to process everything I decided to talk. I asked him slowly 'Are you okay?'

He looked at me blankly.

He stood up and then came and sat next to me. He put his head on my shoulder and I let him. We sat there in silence, not the comfortable silence we were used to sharing. I was curious, nervous and tensed.

It was almost 11 pm. I knew it was late but I had to be there with me.

I wanted to know what is it hurt him that much?

He then finally started speaking.........

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Happy JIMIN day!!!!! ♡
Please don't get hurt, be safe and healthy

Btw I was also worried about this chapter:(
Let me know what do you think about this....