Wallflower's Weekly Writing

Chapter 1- {Hopeless & Hungry}

THE WALLFLOWERS POV {name unknown for now}
"Oh yes- uh- okay. Thanks Sarah.. Goodbye." My mom sighed, hanging up the phone. I overheard the conversation she was having with my therapist.
"Oh hey sweetie. That was Sarah." My mom said.
"I know. And I know why she called." I said putting in my earbuds.
"I'm sorry honey." My mom said stroking my hair.
"No, it's fine. I knew it was gonna happen. I don't blame her either. I'm screwed up." I sighed.
"No you're not! You're an amazing person! But, you need to learn to speak, and let your emotions take over. They don't understand you, because you say nothing." My mom said, sounding desperate.
"Maybe I'm hopeless mom." I said sighing.
"Nobody is Hopeless, there is a chance for everyone. But how you react to the chances you get, depends on your hopelessness." She said tearing a bit.
"Mom, I can't explain my issues. I can't get a hold of my chances I get, because I can't explain my issues!" I said getting angry.
"Honey! Just tell them how you feel. How you feel inside." my mom said, clutching me in her arms.
"Empty. Cold." I said barely producing words.
"Good! We will find another therapist to talk to!" My mom said reassuringly.
"But mom- it's not working. We tried everything, from therapists, to psychologists, to psychiatrists. I'm lost." I said coldly.
"Like I told you honey, you are not lost, you're just not found at the moment." she stated.
"Mom that was cheesy, and I want food." I said groaning.
"Ok honey, I'll order out." My mom chuckled. We waited for our food, my mom was looking up therapists around our area, and beyond. She knows I have problems, and no friends, and no life- okay. She knows I have a lot of problems, but she doesn't understand me, nobody does. She doesn't get how I can't just spill all my problems out, and live a happy life. It's not that easy, especially the level of which my problems are on. I've taken things to an extreme, and if everything goes down, I'm for sure going to a mental institution.
......................
After I ate, I went to my room like always. I felt empty, as usual. And, I was writing in my journal, nothing's changed.
'5/7/15
Today my therapist- my old therapist- ditched me. She said those magical words that I'm just about getting used to. Those words consist of ''oh yes, I think she should find a psychologist to talk to, I can't seem to figure out what the problem is.'' Yep. I'm now used to hearing the routine of my mother getting a phone call, following that phone call is my therapist, telling her those magical words. That was my 7th therapist whom has given up on me. It's sad really, but people don't realize how sad I really am. My mom doesn't know what I did last week. And I hope she never finds out. Because then, she might change her mind about me. Do you wanna know the truth? Do you wanna know about my past? Do you wanna know what I did? You probably don't. Life sucks. And this life, my life, as a wallflower/psycho freak, really freakin sucks.
~Wallflowers Weekly Writing {updated weekly}

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I know! Very short chap. Sorry, just setting the stage for the rest of the book! Do you wanna know her name? What did she do last week?