Wallflower's Weekly Writing

Chapter 4 {Tears & Ink}

Lilian's POV
Today is the day. Today is the day I have to tell Linda about the incident. I haven't told anyone other than family. And that was long ago. Let's just say the wounds haven't healed.
"Hi Lilian, have a seat." She said.
"Hi Linda." I said sitting.
"Tell me... everything." she said calmly.
"Okay. So, when- uh- it all started a couple of years ago... I was dating a guy, who I actually really loved. He was everything. But then everything went to hell. Also I didn't mention this, but my dad is not in my life, and hasn't been since 2010. My boyfriend, Ryan, helped me get through my horrible past. Ryan was my only friend, and boyfriend. Then one day, we got in this argument. I stormed out, and got in my car. He followed me." I started to shake, and cry uncontrollably. I couldn't do this. I couldn't tell her.
"Come on, you can do this Lilian." Linda said quietly.
"I'm Sorry." I said. After I calmed a bit, Linda handed me a tissue, which I used, and took a breath.
"Now, you left off at 'he followed me'." She said smiling slightly.
"Ya, and I wish he hadn't." I said through blurry eyes.
................
Mrs. Greene's POV
Lilian's therapy sesh is almost over. I'm driving to Linda's office, thinking about how scary this was for Lili. John screwed her life. And The whole thing with Ryan, dug a deeper hole. I'm just relieved she's finally telling a professional, because I've just about given up.
"Hello, Lilian is now done for the hour." Linda said, as Lilian came out, red eyed.
"Are you okay?" I asked concerned, knowing the convo that was had. She took a breath, and said,
"Ya, I think I am." She gave a small relieved smile. She not only was talking to me, she was talking to herself. And I was very proud of her for doing something so hard. Explaining things that happened in the past, especially things you cringe just thinking about, can be nearly impossible.
"So, I thought we could go to that ice cream place we used to go to.." I said, trying to get her to say yes. I ask her all the time, but her usual answer is, 'I'm too tired'. So I hope today is different.
"Ya!" She said excitedly. Didn't expect that. I smiled widely, whatever happened in that room I must praise god for, because my baby is back.
...........
Lilian's POV
Wow. Linda opened my eyes to a new world. She helped me through my slump, and I don't even know how. I thought about the therapy sesh, over and over again.
"Ya, he followed me into my car, and I sped off, not caring if he was buckled for safety. I was filled with rage, on the road. And In that moment I didn't care about anything. I couldn't here his talking, I couldn't here anything. I was so spaced out, and angry, and appalled by his words, that just made me speed up a whole 90 MPH, in a freaking neighborhood. Still I heard nothing but the words in my head, taunting me, making me go faster, and faster, until reality kicked in, and it wasn't pretty. I finally heard his voice, but it was screaming in fear. He was saying, 'Stop!' And 'You're going too fast!' And then it all hit, literally. A semi crashed right into the side of my car, Ryan's side. Killed him instantly. I just wish it was me.." I said, tears pouring down my face.
*thoughts over*
"Lili, we are here." My mom chuckled.
"Oh right sorry." I also chuckled.
"So we are gonna get the-" my mom began, before I cut her off.
"Berry banana split, with no nuts." I said smiling.
"Just like the old days." my mom hugged me.
.............
"No mom! This is not how you play scrabble!" I scream- laugh.
"What, really?!" She looked surprised.
"Oh my god!" I laughed, winning the game, out of my moms lack of knowledge.
"Haha! I win!" I said in her face.
"Well, looks like you have!" She says laughing.
"Mom can we watch a movie! I'll make popcorn!" I said.
"Sure! What movie?" She asks. I get my Netflix out searching for an action movie of course! Who doesn't like zombies, and violence!
"Ooh! How about- World War Z!!?" I ask excitedly.
"I don't know, looks scary." she says quietly.
"It's really not! plus it had Brad Pitt in it.." I say smirking.
"Then what in the World {War Z}are you waiting for?!" She says loudly. I put on the movie, while getting some popcorn for both of us to enjoy. Today had been productive. After we finished the movie, my mom went to bed, and I went to my room. Of course, to write in my journal.

5/21/15
'Wow. This week has been hectic. Especially today, when I explained to Linda what I have been through in my past. With my dad, to my boyfriend, ect.. But it seemed like she really almost, understood. She gave the best advice, and she looked excited for me. And most importantly, she treated me like my age, she respected me, and took me seriously. She didn't call me 'effed' up, as most would. My mom and I really spent quality time together today. We laughed, played games, and watched movies! We haven't done that in years. Especially when dad came home drunk. She told me to hide under my bed, and 'don't come out till morning'. I listened to the screams, the stomps, the slams all night. And I would get up in the morning to see the damage. While I was under my bed, I would usually write in my journal. But that wouldn't always work, my tears stained the pages, creating a mixture of tears and ink.'
~Wallflower's Weekly Writing
{updated weekly}