(I went back and changed the main characters name and her species since I didn't like the old ones too much, just letting you know)
Our story begins when the familiar tune of a western song plays. Four burrowing owls dressed as a mariachi band playing a different instrument appear as they all sang 'Rango'. A gunshot goes off as the owls eventually stop singing. The one playing the accordion, named Señor Flan, steps forward and faces the readers.
Señor Flan: We are gathered here today to immortalize in song the life and untimely death of a great legend. So, sit back, relax, and enjoy your low-calorie popcorn and assorted confections, while we tell you the strange and bewildering tale of a hero who has yet to enter his own story, and a maiden who found both love and strength in the eyes of death himself.
Owl with Guitar: The love story is my favorite.
Señor Flan: *Chuckles* Yes, mine too. But both stories are just as important. Think of it as a road that goes into two separate directions, but eventually, they reconnect to become one whole road again. So, I hope you, the audience, enjoy.
???: Hmmm. Hmmmaoh. Muh. Mmmuh! Mmmmuh! Hmmmuh!
The sound of a certain chameleon doing his vocal exercises woke a certain snake from her slumber. She was a ball python. More specifically, she was a type of morph known as a blue-eyed leucistic. Her body measured at least five and a half feet long. Her scales were white as snow as they shined in the sunlight. Since snakes can't exactly wear clothes, the only piece of clothing she had was a black string necklace with a blue bead in the center. She let out a yawn as she opened her eyes, her sky blue eyes adjusting to the light as her vertical pupils looked around the area.
Blanca felt the slightest of vibrations in her habitat, meaning she was still in the car, the car that belonged to her human owners. They were still driving. She lifts her head and slowly slithers on the fake soil and out of her resting place, behind some fake plants and rocks. She looks to her left and spots the chameleon.
Chameleon: Crunchy, creamy, cookie, candy, cupcake. Okay, everyone! Let's take it from the top.
The chameleon grabs some fake plants and holds them up like stage curtains, covering his 'stage'. which, in reality, is just his habitat made to look like one.
Chameleon: The stage is set. The night is moist with apprehension. Alone in her chamber, the princess prepares to take her own life.
He flutters the fake leaf curtains away, revealing that the so-called 'princess' is just the naked top of a headless doll.
Chameleon: *In a high-pitched voice* It is far better to cherish worms than to live without love. *In his normal voice* She reaches for the poison chalice. Meanwhile, the wicked Malvolio plots his ascension to the throne. *Evil chuckle*
The 'wicked Malvolio' he's referring to was tiny wind-up toy fish in his tiny pool he named Mr. Tims.
Chameleon: While her aging father lies gravely ill.
Blanca quirked an eyebrow ridge as she looked to where he was looking. She noticed it was a dead bug, probably his dinner from the other day. She let out an amused laugh.
Chameleon: *Shrill Voice* Yes. I'm gravely ill. *In another voice* Hark, who goes there?
He comes into the scene, his Hawaiian shirt as a cape, wielding a plastic sword.
Chameleon: Tis I, the much-anticipated hero, returning to rescue his emotionally unstable maiden! Unhand her, you jailers of virtue, or taste the bitter sting of my vengeance...
He pauses, looking at the toy fish.
Chameleon: The sting of my... *In normal voice* Dr. Marx? Dr. Marx, I'm not getting anything from you!
YOU ARE READING
The White Maiden of the Mojave Desert: Rango(2011)
Fanfiction(This was inspired by a fanfic on Ao3) Blanca, a pure white ball python, has always put others before herself, always neglecting her own needs. Her roommate, a thespian chameleon, is a prime example. When they find themselves lost in the Mojave Dese...
