I was twelve when I met her. We were at camp. She had this... group of friends. One of them didn't seem to like me all that much. Madison. But... she told me not to take it to heart. That Madison was just... stand-offish at times.
The next year, I signed up for the same camp. We promised we'd come back every year, but... we lost touch over the course of the school year. I mean, I got busy, she got busy, and texts every night became every week, then every month, and then just... stopped. No one was really to blame, but my insecure little brain couldn't help but panic at the thought that she might not want to be friends with me anymore. Or if she was ever my friend.
Of course, this quickly got quashed the moment I set foot on the grounds of camp. She ran up to me, crushing me in a hug. I remember she had this huge smile on her face. She was glowing. I'm pretty sure I was turning at least a little pink, too. I'd never been good with physical contact. She forced me to get used to it, obviously.
Anyway, this kind of thing carried on for the next few years. We'd get super close in two weeks, drift for the better part of the year, and then come back together like no time had passed. But last summer, something was different.
She had a girlfriend. At camp. And at home, actually. Someone that ranked higher than I did on her list of priorities. She was still my number one but I was only in her top five. It wasn't so much the fact that she had a girlfriend, but more that I felt this... unexplainable sting every time I saw the two of them doing anything even remotely couple-y. It could be things that were, objectively, not all that couple-like anyway. Just the sight of them... holding hands, or... or sitting next to each other made me feel... unwarranted anger. Not at her. Just at... myself, I think. For screwing up. Like, maybe if I'd tried to keep up that contact, tried to stay close during the year, done more for her, just done more, she would have picked me.
I don't exactly know what I could have done. I just... I tried to be there for her. When things were tough with her brother, when things were tough with her parents, when she got outed, and then the subsequent break-up because her girlfriend couldn't take it. But just... I kept feeling like I should have done more.
But this summer, it's going to be completely different. I don't know why, but I just have this feeling that... everything's going to change.
YOU ARE READING
Her | Maddox x OC | HSMTMTS
FanficMaddox and I have been close since we were twelve, but... I've kind of always wanted to be... more. She was my "gay awakening," so to speak. My "first crush." But we'll just have to see what happens. ** I don't own any of the characters except for Z...
