Withering moon lit rose

Chapter 18

The pair stood in silence, neither knowing what to do next. Ryuunosuke didn't want to cause more issues for Atsushi and wanted to leave. Atsushi didn't know what to do next but he needed Ryuunosuke with him at this moment.

"Why..." Atsushi whispered out, Ryuunosuke heard a dripping sound and turned to see Atsushi filled with tears. It hurt him to see him like this.

"Why now... Why not sooner..." He muttered. "Why did you wait till now to tell me, I knew it was you that day." Ryuunosuke looked at him confused, what day?

"The day I first visited Yokohama. I passed out on a small alley but before my vision could disappear entirely I saw a figure. You were that figure. When I awoke on the riverbank and saw you gone, that one bit of hope I'd had that someone actually cared diminished temporarily." Atsushi fell to his knees still holding a tight grip on Ryuunosuke's wrist.

"When Dazai floated down the river and offered me salvation I took it, cause I thought you'd abandoned me." Ryuunosuke turned away feeling ashamed at how he'd hurt him like that.

"But I heard the story you told Dazai, not all of it. Just parts. It was one of the few times I could actually hear what was around me before I was thrown back into those nightmares." He smiled but it was one of near insanity in comparison to his usual happy ones. "I can still remember each detail, each word, each hit, each burn, each injection, each whip. I remember it all." Ryuunosuke couldn't bear his cruel words anymore and embraced Atsushi tightly. The younger began to cry into the elder's shoulder. Nothing mattered to them in those few moments, all that mattered was they had each other to lean on for comfort when they needed it most.

"How about this?" Ryuunosuke queeried while allowing Atsushi to continue to lean on him. "When you get back, we start anew. Forget all the past, forget what we did to one another. Would that suffice?" Atsushi nodded into his shoulder, he sniggered a little which caught Ryuunosuke off guard.

"Why are you laughing?" He genuinely did fear for the man's sanity. "You always speak so formal. It's kinda humorous." Ryuunosuke pushed him away with those words.

"Guess you don't want to start fresh when you return." Atsushi quickly whipped the smirk off his face and shook his head aggressively. "No! I do! I really do!" With that Chuuya walked in on the unsuspecting pair.

"It's time to go, Nakajima." His voice was monotonous, this was as difficult for him as it was for Atsushi.

"I guess this is goodbye for now." Atsushi spoke to Ryuunosuke, the man extended his hand expecting a simple hand shake. Atsushi accepted the handshake, Ryuunosuke began to let go but not before Atsushi tightened his grip and dragged him forwards for a short sweet kiss. He then moved to his feet and made his way out the door. Chuuya looked at Ryuunosuke. He mouthed some last words before leaving.

"I'm sorry.."