Withering moon lit rose

Chapter 40

Atsushi began to panic, attempting to push Akutagawa away from himself.

"You're mistaken! I'm not who you think I am!" Akutagawa shook his head while still hugging Atsushi.

"Throughout this entire time of you having no memories. Not once have you ever said you hated me." Atsushi's face began to go pale. He was right, the only other time he'd said those words was in that letter. A letter he was supposed to have no recollection of. But he did. He remembered everything about Akutagawa, what he'd written in that letter. It was the exact thing he needed to remember everything.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... I'm so, so sorry..." Atsushi began to cry as he let his body relax against the floor of the warehouse. Akutagawa finally released Atsushi and saw his face, all scrunched up with tears streaming down. He was only repeating the words I'm sorry over and over.

"Stop it. It's not your fault, you have nothing to apologise for." Akutagawa pulled Atsushi so he sat upright. He held his hands in his own, refusing to let go.

"Everything you did was for the benefit of others. You've sacrificed so much for others these last few years, let me do something for you instead. Okay?" It was still quite strange for Atsushi to see an empathetic Akutagawa. He nodded in agreement. The pair pulled themselves to their feet, Akutagawa turned his head for a second now only realising Kyoka had disappeared. He was about to step outside to see if she was there but Atsushi trapped him in a hug. He needed him, he'd spent so much time away from him. Part of him was grateful for not being able to remember him in the time they'd been apart. It had made it easier, but it killed him knowing how cruel he'd treated Ryuunosuke since they reunited.

"Akutagawa I-" Atsushi was quickly silenced by Akutagawa kissing him. The pair remained like that for a couple minutes kissing back and forth between each other. They only parted when necessary due to needing to breathe. It was a relief for the pair of them. Neither one rejected the other and no one was trying to interrupt them.

"I love you." Akutagawa stated while cupping Atsushi's cheek who seemed to melt into his touch.
"Thank you." Atsushi really did appreciate the man's words. No one had ever said those words to him before, and now he knew the first person to say it to him was being truthful. Atsushi then gripped Akutagawa's hand as if recalling something.

"Wait, I think I know how I can remember what happened that day three years ago." He pulled the man into the sideroom he'd hidden in three years ago to write those two letters. Everything remained untouched, the pen still left from when Atsushi last used it covered in a heavy layer of dust. He dusted the chair which was situated at the desk and sat himself down, he went to grab the pen but stopped himself. He feared what he would remember, but Akutagawa placed his hand on Atsushi's shoulder as a way of comfort. Atsushi felt more relaxed with Akutagawa beside him so he grabbed the pen and began to write random words on paper. This seemed to trigger a set of memories in his head, he began to claw his nails in his head again but Akutagawa pulled his hands away and held them in his own.

"I'm here." Was all he said, and him being there was all Atsushi needed. A few minutes went by as Atsushi struggled against the pain, he needed to remember. He had to remember otherwise he feared that whoever was coming would be able to take advantage of his limited knowledge.

Everything played back, before he was kidnapped 3 years ago. Ending up on Akutagawa's doorstep. The nightmares. Dazai being kidnapped. Chuuya and himself going to rescue Dazai. And her. The woman. His mother.

"Akutagawa..." He mumbled the elder hummed in question.

"We need to go. Now!" But just as he turned to leave the chair he heard the clicks of heels outside the room. Accompanied by high pitched whistling. Fear was the only thing that coursed through Atsushi, he grabbed Akutagawa's hand a bit too tight making the elder worry.

"What is it? What's wrong?" He questioned the worry displayed on his face.

"She's here..." Atsushi spoke in panic, his voice, a whisper.

"Who?" If it was someone who was going to take Atsushi away again he wouldn't let them. No matter who they were.

"My mother..."