Withering moon lit rose

Chapter 27

Silence. That was all that was heard in the infirmary. Akutagawa sat beside Atsushi, Kyoka staring out the window, curled up on the window ledge at the edge of the infirmary. Akutagawa had completely lost himself in his past memories of the boy, a slight smile displayed on his lips.

"Do you think it's our fault?" Kyoka spoke, snapping Akutagawa out of his trance. She still had her knees up to her chest as she spoke, "What if it's because of us. Because we joined the agency. Because we're here. He didn't think he could come back." Kyoka's eyesight was set on the sights outside, she didn't want the man to see her unshed tears.

"No." It was a quick and sharp response. He knew it wasn't because of them. Well he hoped it wasn't because of him, but that letter. It sat at the back of his mind.

'I won't remember you,'

Sections of the letter began to flash through his mind.

'your face will fade into the background never to be remembered again.'

Ryuunosuke felt a shiver race down his spine, he held his arms close to his chest in an attempt at comfort.

It usually worked. For a while...

He decided it would be best if he left the infirmary for a while.

Leaving Kyoka time to recollect her thoughts.

"Akutagawa?" Kunikida questioned seeing the man leaving the infirmary. Alone. Ryuunosuke ignored the man's words and made his way to his desk. If he put all his thoughts into the work maybe these thoughts and words would disappear.

'I don't love you, I never have.'

It was like a stab to the heart.

Akutagawa slammed his head upon his desk before raising his head again. Kunikida flinched slightly at the sudden impact. When he saw the man's head a small cut was visible where blood was starting to drip. Kunikida sighed.

"Akutagawa, come with me to the café." The man shook his head, he needed the distraction of his work. He didn't want to let his mind rest. Kunikida slammed his hand on the desk.

"That wasn't a request." Akutagawa knew Kunikida wouldn't have any other way and reluctantly followed him to the café downstairs.

"Hey, cheer up. He's back, maybe not for long. But we know he's alive." Kunikida sipped at his coffee while Akutagawa left his fig tea untouched, staring out the window.

"Okay, I understand that you had some form of relationship with Atsushi. But moping about it won't make any differ-"

"You didn't see how he looked at me!" Akutagawa snapped, he hadn't done that since before the Agency.

"I- I'm sorry." His apology was almost instant. He didn't want to revert back to the man he once was.

"You're right. I didn't." He set his coffee down before sliding it aside.

"You're the one who saw it. And I know despite my best attempts to try and help guide you. You've found it irritating." Akutagawa tried to protest but the man just raised a hand to silence him, before lacing his fingers back together and settled onto the table.

"You want to know why I did it?" Akutagawa nodded solemnly at the man's question. He never did understand the reasoning why, after all he had threatened to kill the agency members on multiple occasions.

"Part of the reason was myself being selfish. If you haven't figured it out I fell for your ex-mentor."

Akutagawa remained still, he didn't know of this but felt it rude if he acted shocked.

"The dumbest, stupidest part of me though if I could mentor you into someone respectable he might actually take notice of me. Heh, what a fool I was." Kunikida cleared his throat before continuing to speak.

"But I knew it was a lost cause after so long." Akutagawa felt Kunikida was insulting him slightly on his lack of skills here. "But I realised something, you didn't need to be someone respectable. That's not why you joined the detective agency. I saw it on the first day you officially joined." Akutagawa tried to recall that day, it had been quite boring in actuality. Lots of records about his health needed filling in, thankfully the doctor had done most of it for him. Then she had dragged him to the shopping district to pick out some 'appropriate' clothes in her words. He'd seen no issue in his past clothes, but had left his opinion out of it. It reminded him of when Gin used to drag him there.

"Do you remember what happened on the train we'd caught back from the shopping district?" Akutagawa gave a curt nod.

"Kaji."