An asshole and A Loudmouth

Chapter five - the talk

Ashleys POV

Do I really have to do this? Holy fuck. "So, I'll start at the beginning. We were a happy family and I was eight and best friends with Stanley here. My dad had to travel a lot for work. One time, he had to go to New York because someone wanted to buy his business. When he got there he just never came back. No calls, letters, visits no nothing. He just" I pause and look at Stan and Bev who nod at me, signalling to keep talking. I take a deep breath in and continue. "Left. My mom got sad and started spending all her money and started forgetting or not bothering to feed me and my sister. One time, she left to go to this guy's house and didn't come back for five whole days. She kept doing that and was gone more often than not and at different guy's houses each time. I was scared to leave my little sister but I had to get food somehow. Everyone I called was busy so no one could look after her. When I came back home one day, she was gone. I thought she was hiding or had run away but all her stuff was there, shoes, clothes. The lot. She was just gone, it was like she had just vanished. I blamed myself, and I still do. Soon after, my mom came home drunk and after I told her what happened she started beating me. She got hooked on drugs and alcohol and started beating me more and more frequently. She did it every day. Every single day and that was the only thing that never changed until she died 2 years later in a car accident. Then I moved into Stan's house with his family. I was adopted by them and so I quite literally became Stan's sister. They gave me a roof to live under, a bed to stay warm, a room to be my own, food that I didn't have to buy and cook for once and love that I hadn't had from any of my family since my dad left. Soon after I was introduced to you guys by Stanley. I wanted to die to say the least but because of you guys and how happy, and stable, you've made me, five years later and I'm still here. Still kicking around. All thanks to you guys. And that's me, mostly no more secrets." I finished with a sigh, thankful that I had said it all. They all stared at me, dumbfounded and trying to process it all. Eddie took out his inhaler and took a huge breath. Oh god, now I've done it. They're gonna hate me now. Holy shit I'm so, so, so screwed.

After we've all sat down they start talking again. "Are you ok?" Ben asks concerned. "Yeah, do you like- g-god, do you n-need anything?" Bill asks, obviously not knowing what to say. Richie doesn't say anything but stands up and steps forward to hug me. "I know how it feels." He whispers so only I can hear him. He pulls away and sees that I'm confused so he gives me a look and I quickly understand what he means. I give him a sad smile and pull him into another, tighter, hug. The losers notice but don't understand our silent conversation which I'm quite thankful for.

A/N
Very short chapter but if I put it with the last one, it would've been like almost 2000 so no thank you 😊 also if you are feeling sad or thinking about su!c!d3 then please call a helpline. There will always be people you can talk to! Just know that there are people who love you and there are people who are willing to listen even if they don't know you. 💕 have an amazing life everyone

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