Bullshit

Mother Olive

Author edit-

CHeetoes is love heart heart heart, cheetoes on my didckk

- Alright back to the shit

Sectember 28, 20xx

HAIII ^w^ me name is buyby and iwm supa gay !! hehe!! XDD and sillay!! heh.. call me quirky,, but.. heh.. i likeeeee women *dabz* *epicccc dubstep ;-;* my zesty bestie is witeraway joedin and they are witeraway maayyy.. superior!!

Before that fruit basket esque banana runt could write any more I snatched my journal from their hand and smacked him silly. "Give me back my journal u guzz guttling gutter gulper." I grawled. "You wouldn't want to see me when I'm angry" I heh'd. she was shaking in his boods trust me. "You oughta stop takin my shit cus if you realized this was a deathnote you wouldn't have wrote my name in it and yours now we both sentenced to execution by cheese grater." I huffed as I threw the journal back into my mojo dojo casa drawer.

"But schnookums everything u wrote.. it was about as interesting  as watching  paint dry.." Joesin said as they blue steel'd me. I cringed so hard that i sucked my asshole so far in i think I felt it sting again my stomach acid. "I made it better dookie swirl..." he blue steel'd again and I got a little scared so I soccer punched them in the gut. "Oaughh shucks"

Joedin stayed for dinner as per usual every weekend, leeching off of my fathers meals. He usually just gives us garbage. I make it seem like he works hard on these meals because I feel bad but hes a rat. He serves us back ally way garbage. He likes it, Joesin does too because their emo, but I hate it. I would be lying if I said I didn't consider putting a rat trap in his pizza once. 

They said fredward and marlet aren't also at my house with them bcus fredward 'hASSSS GRADNPARENTSS MUHHH' and 'WANTSS TO SPENDDD TIME WITH THEEEM', Marlie couldn't know about us planning their party so they have been left to die in the cube.

"Yo... nukie poops.. " Joedin spoke softly (a bad omen) to me after dinner. He was looking at that picture of my parents, I stole it from my dad while he was receiving gay anal one night on the couch and I needed something to distract from the screaming. I may be a lesbian, but I have never been more homophobic in my life than I was that night. I needed that picture to remind me it was just a phase and he'd grow out of this.. ghastly.. behavior soon enough. Uh anyway, they was like "nagasaki noodle.. is that ur *gulp* female parental figure or guardian..."

I shit myself. 

Joesin has only been my friend since before I was sperm roaming my dadz balls, shit maybe even before I was a thought being considered in gods head. Not long enough to know about my.. *gulp* ᶠᵉᵐᵃˡᵉ ᵖᵃʳᵉⁿᵗᵃˡ ᶠⁱᵍᵘʳᵉ ᵒʳ ᵍᵘᵃʳᵈⁱᵃⁿ... I never rlly brought it up bcuz like.. idk.. :((leavemealooneeee..

"SS_S__SS__S-SSS-SS_s--s_sTOPOPP tAKing my stUFFFF WHOREE" I Started screaming crying, I mean I was bawling and kicking my legs from how distraught I was that Joedin had mentioned my.. *gulp* ᶠᵉᵐᵃˡᵉ ᵖᵃʳᵉⁿᵗᵃˡ ᶠⁱᵍᵘʳᵉ ᵒʳ ᵍᵘᵃʳᵈⁱᵃⁿ. SO I snatched the picture back and tried not to smear the sopping snot onto the frame. 

Joesin didn't see that i was a little sad so she was like "hiroshima honey..if ur mam had brown hair.. and like.. ur dad.. had brown hair.. how the fuck.. did you turn out more ginger than a snap..." they held my shoulder, looking at me like I was a freak of nature. 

"mhyrbnmdad.smahysigotit..from..mhgyhgrmarmeary.." 

"..fuk u sayed hoe..??"

"MY DAD SAYS I GOT IT FROM HIS MAMA" I shrieked still bawling, snot and boogers flinging sticky lines of germs everywhere as I raised my head to repeat the statement. "ALRIGJHT DICK WHO WJANTS SHIT BAURN HAIR ANYOW FFOM THAT hATLKADY whO ISNT A VERY GOOD MOTHER BY THE WAY YEAAHH shes NOT EVEN DEAD jSHE JuST hATES me CUs I LIVE LAUGJ LOVE LADY NIPPLS!!"