My Addiction - Tom kaulitz

Feelings

Three tears in the chair, the clock has fingerprints on its surface, there's six dents in the bed frame, there's four knife marks on the bedside table, a quarter of the way into the room there's a blood stain in the carpet, the curtains have three tears, three steps away from the bed the floorboards creak, the empty vase is cracked down the middle

"What a good girl you were for our guests." 

Halfway up the bedpost the wood is etched, there's burn holes on the dresser

"I much prefer you when you're quiet" 

The chair on the balcony has uneven legs, the ash tray on the table is off centre, and the

"Are you even fucking listening?!" a hefty blow to the back of my head snaps me out of my paranoid daze. I clutch the back of my head which is now pounding as I slowly turn my body around

"I uhm- yes." I turn to face a furious Tom

"Don't lie to me." as his words roll off his tongue, a putrid poison coats each letter and each syllable he speaks. 

"Sorry." I huff under my breath, not wanting to raise my voice even one decibel incase he gets offended.

"I was just saying how good you were being as well. Last time I praise you." he slumps onto the bed and puts his head in his hands in annoyance. He mutters to himself in insanity, as he slowly sinks his nails into his forehead, if he applied any more pressure I'm sure he'd be left with slender crescent shaped marks on his forehead specked with blood. I cringe as he digs his nails even deeper, so hard that his head is now visibly red.

"Sit." he removes one of his hands and pats the bed next to him, I sit as far away as I can and continue staring at him as he strops. I want to laugh in his face just like he had done to me earlier, maybe even hit him as hard as he had hit me. I'll gouge his eyes out and make him eat them. God he's making me go insane, I've never had such gruesome thoughts about another human being, or any being for that fact. However, I feel that I have the temerity to think such thoughts about this demon of a man. He takes a sharp inhale of the air, which is thick with anger, and feels as if its consuming us due to the unmatched levels of tension which has formed between us.

"You know what?" he pauses, "I can't deal with you right now. I'm going out." he turns his head to return the eye contact and snarls at me, the only thing in his stare being pure evil. I furrow my eyebrows and tilt my head in confusion at his sudden change of mind, but as usual, he doesn't take my judging stare lightly, he stands up and moves in front of me so that the only thing I can see is his face, he raises his hand and begins to speak again

"Do you have a problem with that?" he questions, though its not a question, its rhetorical; and the only answer which will not be punishable is 'no' 

"No." I sigh, desperately waiting for him to just hit me and get it over with so I can have some peace, so I brace myself and clench my jaw awaiting that uncomfortably familiar feeling of burning and tingling on my now numb cheek. Yet that feeling doesn't come, nor does the deafening sound of his palm connecting with my cheek.

"Exactly, so shut your pretty little mouth. I'm leaving, I'll be back tomorrow" he lowers his hand and I exhale in relief upon seeing him turn around and walk away. What the fuck even just happened? I look around as if some form of an answer would be magically floating in the air, yet to no ones surprise, it's not.

 So if Tom's leaving, Georg and Gustav must've already left, and possibly Bill. A sly smile spreads across my face as an unexpected opportunity comes to light. I won't run away, it's clear that I'd be found and caught again, but I can use this as an opportunity to sneak around, do some investigating. I'll wait in his room for a while incase its some form of test, then I'll get to work.