My Addiction - Tom kaulitz

Slit

++TW for this chapter (SelfHarm)+(Detailed gore) 

The men exit the door clutching their canes and smoking their pipes as they shake Toms hand, all rambling as they get outside. I let out a muffled sigh as the last man leaves, hours of sexual remarks and intense staring made me want to throw up, however these mens remarks seemed to make Tom jealous, each time one of them would give me a look his grip on me would tighten. I collapse onto the sofa as Tom stands beside me, asking me to get two glasses of scotch, one for him and one for Bill.  I huff as I trudge to the kitchen cleaning out the glasses and pouring the remaining drink into them. The heavy sound of Bills boots fills the hushed atmosphere, as I pour  the dish soap onto a sponge the boys break out into a quiet conversation. I use my finger to mix the drinks and re enter the siting room, two glasses in hand.

"Hello, Bill." I shoot him a smile as I place his glass into his hands and sit back beside Tom

"You did so good my Angel." Tom chucks a cigar to Bill as he strikes a matchstick to light his own. I watch keenly as Bill swirls the scotch around in his glass before taking a long swig, then placing his cigar between his lips. 

"She agree?" Bill asks, exhaling the smoke between breaths 

"Mhm." Tom nods with his head down and his hands wrapped around his glass, his knuckles turning white, Bill lets out a soft chuckle as he finishes the drink

"Good, clearly knows what's best for her." The two men continue talking as though I'm not even here, I bite my tongue and watch as Bill continuously clears his throat, chocking every so often

"You okay, Bill?" I ask tilting my head to the side, flashing him a frown. He slaps his chest, finally catching his breath and looks up to face me

"Where'd you get the scotch from, Tom?" He peers into the glass and removes the cigar from his mouth

"Its the one we usually get, why?" Tom finishes the alcohol and slams his glass onto the table with a grunt. Bill stays quiet, intensely staring into the glass, almost as though he's looking for something wrong.

"Hm, did the men like it?" Bill questions lifting his head back up and placing the cup onto the table

"They loved it." Bill hums in response. Tom rubs a soft hand up my thigh as he puts his cigar down. He lifts his dark eyes up to meet my gaze, his harsh features soften as his hand squeezes my knee. 

"Tom, I feel, I think I've caught something or... I don't know." Bills voice becomes shaky as he clutches his stomach. 

"Go lay down or something for Christs sake." Tom lifts a hand up and makes a swatting motion towards the stairs. Bill springs up from the sofa and hobbles to the winding stairs, as he gets further up the steps his knees give in and the weight of his body comes crashing down the stairs, his head thumping as it hits each step. Tom runs to his brothers limp body as I stay sat down, re lighting Toms cigar and breathing the smoke towards the ceiling. 

"Get my fucking keys we need to go, now Angel!" Tom places his fingers on Bills wrist as I steadily walk towards the shiny keys sat atop the counter. I throw them to Toms side and begin walking to the car, cigar still between my lips. 

++TIME SKIP++

"Wait here, I need to go and speak to someone outside." Tom stands up and leaves the waiting room, I watch as he storms out the sliding glass doors and wanders through the car park, slowly melting into the pitch black. Nurses and doctors rush through the maze like hallways, some pushing empty beds and carrying various machine attachments or pillows. I stay sat in the waiting room for a while, the strong stench of chemicals burning my nostrils and the snotty green chairs and pale blue walls making me dizzy. I slowly lift myself up from the uncomfortable deflated foam chair and walk through the hallway, reading the numbers on each door, observing the scary looking machines and the wires sticking out of them, connecting to a patients body. I step into an elevator with an older woman, her wrinkled hand shakily reaches out to the number pad on the metal wall. The number 4 on the pad lights up and makes a ding as we gradually make our way up the building, the woman turns to me, clutching her walker to stabilise herself, she opens her thin lips and takes a breath in while looking up at me with her drooping blue eyes

"Why are you here sweetheart?" The woman asks with concern

"My friend is here" I smile at her as her look of worry fades

"I see myself in you. So young, so intelligent and naïve." She pulls her lips into a grin as she awaits my response 

"You are still very beautiful ma'am" She lets out a soft giggle 

"Thank you." Her face slowly changes "I know what you did." The comforting smile she once had drops as her eyebrows furrow and her eyes darken

"What?" I stand in shock as she stares into my soul 

"I know what you did." She repeats herself again, slower this time "And you know too." I stand with my mouth agape as she comes closer to me

"You will become malicious before you know it. I did too. You'll hate yourself, more than you already do." 

"Listen, ma'am, I think you're a bit confused" I swallow, my back now pressed against the cold metal wall

"You should slit your wrists." The elevator dings and the doors slide open, before she leaves she turns to me once more "You should slit your throat." The woman turns around and walks out. I trail behind her as she toddles to a room at the end of a hall, she uses her shoulder to open the door and dissapears into the room, I rush towards it and look through the glass square on the door. She sits down on a chair beside a bed, she places a hand on the knee of a man laying deadly still under the itchy hospital sheets. I move my gaze to the man whos connected to multiple machines, all showing different numbers and graphs I don't understand. He has fresh stitches along his neck and small cuts along his arms, the woman stares at him with a strange hatred on her face, tapping her foot on the floor slowly. I furrow my eyebrows as she whispers manically to herself, suddenly her aimless mumbling stops, so does her tapping foot, and her shaking hand, she stays stiff for a while, not blinking and hardly even breathing, then her neck snaps around and she looks me dead in the eyes with blackened pupils and her face drooping. I jump back in shock and run back to the elevator where I frantically push the button for the ground floor, as the door slide closed the woman comes hobbling at a much faster pace than before chanting unintelligible words, the only understandable thing being "Slit" 

I stare into the elevator mirror, my eyes wide open in fear as I clutch my chest, my white shirt slowly stains red as I continue staring, a deep wine-like liquid begins pooling onto the floor beneath me as it drips from my wrists and creates bloody trails along my clothes. My arms drop down from my chest, and on both of my wrists two deep cuts appear, spurting blood onto the walls, a few of my veins visibly pumping ten times faster sending more of the thick gushing liquid out. I wrap my right hand around my left wrist as the fluid flows through my fingers, the cherry red blood slides over my hand, the thick fluid no warmer or cooler than my own skin. As I focus on my wrists my airway becomes blocked and slowly, I loose the ability to breathe, I gasp for air as I choke on blood which slowly pours from my open mouth, I gargle on the metallic tasting liquid as I create inhuman sounds of gasping and spluttering. My heavy head slowly falls back and the gaping slit in my throat fails to hold my skull up, as my head falls further and further back I feel the skin on my neck ripping more and more as I make uncontrollable rattling sounds that bubble from my lungs. The elevator door opens and I sprint out, grasping my open neck as I search endlessly for a nurse, the people in the waiting room stare at me as my legs move faster than ever. A pair of strong hands grip my shoulders, flinging me backwards 

"Angel what the fuck is happening?"