Begin Again

Chapter 11

Mack POV - one month later

"You don't have to do this yet." I hear Alex.

I let out a breath and stare at her.

She walks over and places her hands on my shoulders, "Hey."

I sigh and feel a tear roll down my cheek.

I wipe it away, "Fuck. Why is this so hard? It's not like she's coming back for any of this."

I let out a breath.

"That's just it, babe. She's not coming back and that's why it's hard." Alex says calmly.

I stare at her and nod, "So many memories."

She bobs her head up and down and rubs my cheek, "You still have the memories. Those aren't going anywhere."

She taps my temple.

I nod, "I know that you're right."

She leans closer and whispers, "I'm usually right, babe."

I smile and press my lips against hers then pull away.

"I'm here for you." She says.

I nod and look at the closet, opening the door.

I start pulling clothes out, mostly scrubs.

"So how many pairs of scrubs does the average surgeon need?" Alex asks.

I chuckle, "Not this many, but she was convinced that she needed this many."

We continue going through clothes, me deciding to keep some flannels and shirts.

I start pulling down a box and two envelopes fall.

Alex picks them up, "One is for you and one is for Riley."

I stare at the envelopes and reach for them.

"What the..." I trail off.

Alex kisses my cheek, "I'm going to go make us some lunch. Take your time, honey."

I stare at her and nod, "Okay."

She walks out of the room and I sit back on the bed.

I open the envelope and pull the letter out.

My love,

Hi, babe. This letter was hard for me to write, but I knew it was necessary. You never wanted to do a living will because you always thought that we'd live forever. I was always the realist between us.

If you're reading this, then you now know that life can be cruel. If you're reading this, know how much I loved you and how much I loved Riley. You two were the best part of my life, even if I missed out on a lot. I never wanted to miss anything.

I'm so sorry babe that I'm not there anymore. But I know that you'll be okay. I know that you'll find someone to ride out the rest of your days on earth with.

I stop reading and wipe my face, "Fuck."

I want you to be happy, okay? Find someone to take care of you and to love our daughter as much as I did. Don't worry about me, I'll be okay.

I love you, more than you know.

Your Ally

I put the letter down and Max stands up, walking over to me.

"You miss her too, buddy?" I ask him.

He whines and wags his tail and I pet him.

I stare at the letter for Riley and get up, putting it back in the closet.