Would you love a Monsterman? (Avdol x Polnareff)

Monster Mash

With Salem behind them, Polnareff drove on towards Portland- the "weird" city. However, he was pretty sure that it wouldn't phase him one bit, as he was currently in a car with a horny bumper sticker, a 4,000 year old psychic (who was very handsome, might he add) and a flatulent chupacabra. Since Avdol didn't have any intestines, it didn't take a genius to figure out that Iggy was the one making the car smell absolutely AWFUL. He'd rolled open the back windows yet the smell just wasn't going away. Luckily, Portland was only 45 minutes away from Salem, and he wouldn't even need to worry about maintaining a human disguise- as since it was October, Portland was embracing the Halloween spirit for the entire month!

Parking in an underground car park, Polnareff took the newly brought leash and collar and looked over at Iggy. The Chupacabra snarled, showing off its crooked teeth.
"You've gotta wear the leash, you little gremlin." Polnareff gritted his fangs and lunged at the goatsucker, who nimbly stepped out of the way, causing Polnareff to land flat on his face.
"Ow!"
Iggy gave a grunting noise that may have been a laugh and went to run off, only for Avdol to quickly attach the leash and collar to him.
"There you go!" The mummy grinned. Iggy barked in anger, and Avdol rolled his eyes.
"If they see you without a collar, they'll think you're a stray mutt and you'll get sent to the pound. And there's no coffee in the pound."
The thought of a life without caffeine was so horrific that it shut Iggy up quickly enough. With the Chupacabra safely leashed to prevent more coffee-stealing incidents, the three creatures headed out into the moonlight, Polnareff nursing his bashed nose as he did so.

Portland at night was an absolute carnival of bright colours and alternative fashion. The pavements shone like oil slicks, wet with rain and reflecting the multicoloured lights of the storefronts, and the comforting, warm hay-coloured lamplight from houses and apartments. The air smelt of pumpkin spice from the dozens of overpriced chain coffeeshops (Iggy had been banned for life from every location of Starbucks due to his "frappe-based shenanigans" last night) and the light boards outside cinemas displayed the reruns of horror movies that they were screening. A large tarpaulin banner outside an old warehouse announced that in tonight's Roller Derby championships, the "Salem Witches" were playing against the "Portland Princesses." Despite their dainty name, the Portland team consisted of angry-looking women with neon hair and facial piercings, ramming into one another on their quad skates. Tickets were fully sold out, yet a skylight on top of the building allowed Avdol and Polnareff to watch. The roof was a little fragile, so Polnareff used his vampire powers of levitation to hold Avdol and Iggy up with ease as they watched through the grimy window. The Princesses' jammer- a girl with pink hair, a lip ring and stripy socks- circled past the Witches' jammer, and the spectators let out a whoop of elation.
"I don't even know how this sport works, I just like watching them go nowhere fast on their skates." Polnareff mused.

After the match, the three of them continued to explore the city. A guy on a unicycle was riding around playing bagpipes whilst dressed as Darth Vader, and dozens of teenagers were dressed in cheap Spirit Halloween vampire costumes.
"Hey, where's your costume?" One asked.
"I don't need a costume, I was reborn this way." Polnareff said jokingly. The teens shrugged, and as they walked off, Avdol's eye caught sight of a building.
"Is that a haunted house?" He asked, excited.
"Want to go in? I bet you'll be scared out of your bandages!" Polnareff replied.
"Oh please. You'll be the one to get scared!"
"No, you!"
"No, you!"
This banter continued for a bit, before Iggy interrupted by barking.
"Alright, let's go in. If you're scared you can hold my hand." Polnareff teased, expecting the house to be just another cheap scare attraction.

Fifteen minutes later, and Polnareff couldn't have been more wrong. The haunted house was easily one of the most terrifying things he'd ever seen in his life! All around him were scarers dressed as... he shuddered to even think of it- vampire hunters! Yes, the animatronics were shoddy and the costumes were cheap, but the spirit of the place was absolutely nightmarish.
"Avdol, I'm scaaaaared!" He whimpered, taking the mummy's hand. Just then, a scared dressed as Van Helsing jumped out of a wardrobe, and Polnareff gave a girly shriek that rattled the windowpanes. He gripped onto Avdol's hand, only to feel a light "pop!" Looking down, he saw that he'd yanked Avdol's entire arm off. The scared cringed, and hid away in their wardrobe.
"Holy shit, I didn't mean to!" Polnareff yelled, hurrying his companion out of the attraction. But for some odd reason, Avdol was... laughing?

"Why are you laughing? Are you in shock? In pain? I..."
"Jean, calm down. I've fallen apart many times over the years, it's why I carry this on me at all times." The mummy sat down on a bench and pulled a sewing kit out of his pocket, and rolled up the sleeve of his missing arm. The arm scuttled over to his body, as if it were remote controlled, and Avdol deftly sewed it back on.
"You can sew yourself back together?"
"The embalmers would do it to a body if they were too rough. Anyway, due to the curse, I'll heal in a few minutes."
"You're so amazing..." Polnareff sighed with a soppy grin. "I... I mean, as a friend! I'm not flirting with you! I..."
Polnareff's pale cheeks went pink with blush, and Avdol wrapped his good arm around his friend's shoulders.
"Relax, Jean. I know what you meant." Avdol replied. Polnareff gave a brief laugh, and cozied up to the mummy.
"Mon dieu, I'm such a doofus!"
"You're my favourite doofus, Ahati."
The two stayed like this until a deliciously pungent smell drifted along via the wind- the smell of fresh doughnuts.
"Momo?"
"Jean?"
"Wanna go to voodoo doughnut?"
"You read my mind, Polnareff. Quite impressive, seeing as my head's full of hardened resin."