What If... HYDRA Got Hold of Loki?

''can't you see that you're lost without me?''

Warnings: starvation, drowning

Time doesn't feel real anymore.

There are no days, no nights.

There's cage time, and there's experiment time – and, every now and then, when Pierce is feeling exceptionally generous, there's a little increment of time where he just gets to be.

Right now, it's experiment time.

He must have done this hundreds of times now. Every day, it's something new. Sometimes, he thinks it's over. They've run every possible "test." There's nothing more they can do to him.

He's always wrong, of course.

There's always something new.

Always.

They've just finished today's tests, and Loki's body aches from the stress it's been put through day after day. He's gotten used to it over time. He expects it. This is his body's natural state, and who is he to object to that?

"Good job, Loki," Pierce says, and Loki feels himself light up at the praise — and he lights up even further when Pierce puts the bowl on the ground.

Loki looks between him and the bowl, his anticipation growing. He learned the hard way that seeing the bowl is not an invitation to eat it. He went to the cage with an empty stomach quite a few times after that. But he's learned. He's learning. He'll get his food. He just has to be patient.

Pierce doesn't make him wait for it this time. "Go ahead," he says. "You've earned this."

Loki instantly drops to the floor, both hands grabbing the bowl as though it's going to run away before he can reach it. He brings it to his mouth and lets the porridge fill him. There's still a hint of warmth this time. He really must have done well. It's usually cold by the time he gets to eat it.

Pierce chuckles. "Alright, stand back up."

Loki pushes himself back to his feet, and he has to grab his pants to keep them from falling down. He's careful when he lets them go. They tend to stay up if he doesn't move. He just has to be careful.

Pierce reaches over and tugs on the waistband, really accentuating how much extra space there is. "These are getting pretty big, aren't they?"

"Yes, sir," Loki says. He's glad they still fit at all. He'd hate to have to lose them, though he's sure that day is coming. Maybe that day is today. Maybe that's what Pierce is about to say. That would be disappointing.

But Pierce surprises him. "We should get you some more to eat."

Loki smiles. He'd like that. He'd love that.

"How about we do one more test today, and you can have another bowl?" Pierce asks.

"Yes, sir." He tries not to sound too eager, but the promise of another bowl of porridge is too good to pass up. Pierce never gives him the opportunity to earn more. This is wonderful!

Pierce crosses his arms, thinking. "What else could we do..." It takes a few seconds, but then he has his lightbulb moment. "We've never tested how long you can hold your breath, have we?"

"No, sir," Loki replies. Not that he's aware of, at least, though they don't always tell him what they're testing for; sometimes they just do things and he just has to hope that his pain is for a good cause.

"Let's try that," Pierce says. He pats Loki on the arm. "I'll be right back."

So Pierce heads out the door, leaving Loki alone with the whole room at his disposal. This doesn't happen all too often; it's a gift into itself. The fact that it will be followed with more food? He doesn't know what he's done to deserve this, but he must have done something right.