What If... HYDRA Got Hold of Loki?

i'll take one final step. all you have to do is make me

Warnings: starvation, suicidal ideation

Loki hadn't realized how difficult it was to starve a Frost Giant to death.

He's been here for years — he'd go as far as to say decades, even, but it's hard to tell. Time stops moving after a while. When you've been left alone as long as he has, time loses its meaning.

He can't move anymore. He hasn't been able to move in a long time. He's too weak to function. He's gone years and years and years without anything to eat, anything to drink. He's dead in every sense but physical.

He's been forgotten.

He understands that now.

Pierce has forgotten him.

SHIELD has forgotten him.

Nobody remembers that he's here. Nobody's coming to save him. Nobody's coming to torture him. Nobody's coming at all. He is completely, utterly alone.

He can't believe he's still functioning at all. He can't believe his heart is still pumping, his lungs are still breathing. He can't believe his body hasn't given in.

It can only be a matter of time.

That's all he has left to tell himself.

His body will give in, and he will die.

He'll be free from this battle his body's been fighting for years and years, and he'll go to Valhalla, just like Thor said.

He'll take one final step. All the Norns have to do is make him.

All they have to do is let him.

He can't open his eyes much anymore. Even that is too much effort. So when he hears the thud, the first true thud he's heard in ages, he doesn't even try to look.

"Uh..." It's a man's voice, but, as far as Loki can tell, not one he's heard before. "Where...?"

A part of him wants to look. If this were happening directly in his line of sight, maybe he would. But he doesn't have it in him to move his head and look upwards. That's asking too much.

"Okay, this is—"

A pause.

"Oh my god, there's a dead guy."

Loki tries to raise his hand, to somehow show he's not dead, but the best he can do is lift a finger.

"What the...?"

Then it's footsteps, each one coming closer, and the light is blocked out as this man crouches down next to him. He puts a hand on Loki's neck. That's promising. Maybe he'll see...

"I don't know why I'm doing this," the man admits, taking his hand back. "I don't know how to check a pulse." He gently shakes Loki's shoulder. "Hey, buddy, are you alive?"

Loki tries to move, tries to speak, tries to say something, but all that comes out is a forced exhale groan.

"Holy shit," the man whispers. "Uh... Okay, I'm gonna..." There's a somewhat panicked moment of silence. "I'll be right back. I'm gonna try to get you some help."

Loki doesn't react. He can't react. He doesn't even have it in him to get his hopes up. Either he will be rescued or he won't. He doesn't know which is worse. Maybe his death is finally coming for him tomorrow, and his rescue will just postpone it. He can't know for sure.

There's a quiet swoop, and then it's silent. It's weird; the man didn't walk away. He just... became away. He's no longer here. He was here, and now he's not. It doesn't make sense.