a Love Scripted- Yungi Fic

i will come to you blind pt.2

And Yeosang was holding himself up on the sink and breathing in heavy. Letting thoughts and feelings running through him that made him sad and uncomfortable. Letting cold water run over his itchy face and feeling for some reason that tears were burning in the back of his throat. It was always the same. Every day. Are you sure you can’t come to work. Yeah, that’s bad but we are low in staff. Just try to be here tomorrow. You are just lazy, like always - the thoughts and voices running wild in his brain.

Allowing to look at himself in the mirror for the first time and seeing the dark circles under his eyes, the flashy birthmark and his slight red eyes. He looked absolutely embarrassing, he looked pathetic . He hated not wearing make-up, he hated that everyone could see how little he was sleeping in the last days.

It’s pretty, why did you put make-up over it?

“If this is what you call pretty, you are really easy to impress”, he was whispering a little broken, trying to catch himself by again letting cold water cool his face down. It was helping with the uncomfortable feeling but at the same time he was still in shame for looking like this.

He was breathing in one last time, reminding himself that he could also just leave every time he wanted even if that meant that he would just walk around town in need to find a rather quiet corner to rest. But the fact that it was foggy and wet outside was making him more at ease with just staying here.

He was coming back to the living room, walking in there silently and letting his eyes wander around. Turns out it was not really a living room, more like the only room that combined bedroom, office and living room all together.

The bed was standing to his left, the headpiece to the wall so you could enter it from both sides. The office table Jongho was sitting at with a notebook was standing below a three piece window side showing half of the supermarket from behind and other borning, white walls. The kitchen was probably behind the closed door to his right. Yeosang could see the rather chaotic colors on the bed, the little teddy bear sitting on the massive black headpiece and all in all it was super clean in here. A little air-defuser on the nightstand, a bookshelf with organized books hanging on the wall right beside the door Yeo was standing at. He could see family photos, him posing before a christmas tree in a fluffy big christmas sweater. Everything was smelling like detergent and a little touch of lavender.

“You have a little sister?”, Yeosang was asking and could see the way Jongho was flinching hardly before turning around in his office chair, “you scared me”, he was letting him know and Yeo was pressing his lips together in order to not smile about it - at the same time he realized what he was even doing here, as Jongho’s eyes met his. Why was he even asking? 

“Yeah, she moved to Spain with my parents two month ago, she’s going to a school abroad now”, “Wait, how old are you?”, it was slipping over his lips and Jongho was smiling at him for a second, “I turned 23 in January”, “I am older than you? I am 24”, he was not looking younger, even if it was only a year difference. To be completely honest Yeosang thought he might be 26 or even 27. Maybe it was this strange mix out of seriousness and softness in his eyes, he still couldn’t explain.

“You want me to call you Hyung ?”, Jongho was teasing, and Yeosang felt how his brain was snapping again, his words leaving his lips before he could even think about it.

“Never fucking call me that”, he was saying harshly and seeing Jongho’s eyes soften, making him regret it immediately. Biting his lip and trying to get his triggered heartbeat under control.

“Just… don’t ”, “I am sorry, I won’t”, he said and clearing his throat. Nodding to the direction of the bed, his finger already on the keyboard of his notebook again.

“You can lay down if you want”, he was letting Yeosang know, the room filled with tension and awkwardness again and Yeo really tried to ignore it. Was it just him feeling like this? Probably, because this guy didn’t seemed bothered by anything happening right now. In fact, he was a little too normal about the way he was letting some stranger lay in his bed while he was working on his desk. But in the end Yeosang got to the answer really fast.  

He felt bad. Wanting to apologize for the cake and then just forgetting about him when this was done. It was always like this - and maybe it was for the best anyway.

“You’re sure I don’t bother you?”, it was coming over his lips, as he was slowly sitting down on the left edge and going over to sit crossed leged on the mattress. His hands grabbing his ankles and pulling his legs closer.

“As long as you don’t need a full on entertainment program”, he was smiling and Yeo felt how the corner of his lips were switching as he was shaking his head.

“No… I am just tired”, he was confessing, 

“I am sorry again… because of the cake”, “You already apologized a hundred times”, “I know, but it doesn’t happen often that I am accidentally poison a stranger I just met”, he was laughing out gently and making Yeosang smile for a short second, as he allowed himself to lay down. Having his hands on his chest and laying there rather stiff. Smelling something dark and sweet in his nose as he was resting his head on the pillow.

“And I am disappointed that we couldn’t spray because of all of this”, Jongho was letting him know silently, looking at his notebook for a second but he wasn’t typing stuff in it. Yeosang was looking over to him, feeling in some sort of way how his heart was beating faster.

“I…”, he started and felt how fucking hard it was to say it, “I really love your artstyle”, the confession was nothing more than a murmur, feeling Jongho’s smile bunring on his face.

“Really?”, “I mean, It’s okay”, Yeo was chewing his bottom lip and hearing the bright and soft laugh from his direction. Something that sounded sweet and… cute .

“You are right, no need to praise me too much”, he was saying and Yeo felt the smile still resting on his face. For some reason he relaxed, feeling how his muscles lost tension and the way his heart was beating slower. Looking at him for a second longer, before slowly allowing himself to close his eyes - just losing the battle against the exhaustion and the uncomfortable feeling in his eyes. Just a second, just resting his eyes for a tiny little second…

“Since when do you do art?”, he heard himself asking, not seeing how Jongho was reacting now. For some reason he was curious though, trying to open his eyes again but his brain wasn’t reacting to him. What the fuck was wrong with him? No idea when was the last time he was this tired, he was fighting, telling his brain to open his eyes but nothing happened…

Just letting himself rest, feeling how all of his muscles getting even more calm and relaxed and in the next second he could hear sound coming from the notebook. It was high pitched and loud, but even now Yeosang didn’t manage to open his eyes.

“I need to take this, they probably saw me being online”, Jongho was saying, hearing him picking up a call, Yeosang was not even able to really ask if it was work. Nothing that should matter anyway. But he could hear Jongho talking, typing on the keyboard, his voice being calm and soft and his brain slowly shutting down, a smell in his nose that was in some crazy way so fucking comforting to him that he didn’t even realize that he was laying to the side and pressing his cheek into the soft fabric of the pillow before falling asleep…