Saudade

28

Yn pov
I really appreciate Chres's effort to support Ty, but I don't want Chresanto to give us any money. Even if I didn't work for him I wouldn't accept the money. It's just against my morals.😓
If there's one good thing I remember from my momma it's that you shouldn't go around borrowing money. Money can only buy the material things that are temporary. So you shouldn't mix money with the people you wanna keep near and dear to you. Cause trying to mix money and relationships (of any sort) is like trying to mix oil and water.
.
All these lame niggas and fake bitches are chatten bout how much money they're "grindin' & gettin' " ain't getting shit.
Although money makes this world go round, I think that without money we'd all be rich .

Chres: YN?!
Me: huh?
Chres: I've been calling you for a while now
Me: really? I'm sorry.
Chres: what's wrong? What's on you mind?
Me: nothing. You wouldn't understand
Chres: baby, it's not like I'm not trying to.
Me: I know-
Chres: how bout you just-
Me: start from the beginning?
Chres: exactly.😊

Chres put his head on my lap and looked at me with that goofy ass smile I can't help laugh at. We've just came back from Ty's biopsy, so we're back home. She's taking a rest and Syl is preparing dinner in the kitchenette we sat on the couch. As I began to run my fingers through his soft curls, I began to reminisce.

Me: okay, I was 13 soon to be 14 and Chasity was 8, and everything seemed okay. My father would work during the day and my mom would work during the night. We were in some debt; like some bill collector knocking on the door type shit with police and eviction notices. But somehow we payed them all off. Things were finally looking up for us.Then on April 25, everything went downhill. I woke that day and mom just wasn't there. I got up out of bed and walked to the living room, and I saw my dad like I've never seen him before. He was slumped over the kitchen table with his hands on his head crying angrily...

-Me: Dad, what's wrong?
- YD: nothing, honey. Daddy's fine.
- me: where's mom?

He clinched his fist and broke into a fake smile

-Yd: uhh, she'll be back really soon. She just- she's not here right now.
- me: ohkay.

After that day, my dad just stayed home. Never went back to work, the only time he left the house was to get more beer. So I quickly looked for a job. My first job was- don't laugh.
Chres: I won't
Me: selling newspapers
Chres: really?
Me: now that I look back that was a real stupid job for me , since everyone gets the news of the Internet or TV nowadays.
Chres: tru
Me: so I worked at the local supermarket. I bagged groceries, sorted boxes, mopped the aisles. Shawty I did it all.😂
Chres: how old were you?
Me: 13 still.
Chres: and in school?
Me: well, not really. All I did in school at that point was sleep. and that's when I realized I had to make a choice. It was either quit school and get a job to support Ty or report my dad to the police and get sent to a home.
Chres: but that would separate you and Chasity.
Me: exactly, so I had to put school on pause for the meanwhile. I picked up a job a Wendy's , which wasn't making enough money for the rent, water, electricity, food, etc. minimum wage is a bitch!
Chres; I've heard 😂
Me: but there I met Linda who was about 20 at the time.
Chres: Linda?
Me: she's my "business partner". Together we quit our job and went into a business of our own. She bought the stuff wholesale, she had the plug "being that she was from Mexico" and I just resold it.
Chres: the stuff? You don't mean-
Me: ...
Chres: you sold drugs? YN?!
Me: I had to do what I had to do. We had code names, regular customers, disguises, and discrete calls and gestures.
Chres: then what?
Me: I got caught. And they put me in custody of Syl "until further notice"
Chres: you've gone through hell and back baby girl. I'm not gonna let you struggle anymore.

I looked into his dark brown eyes. No one has ever said that to me before.