Saving L

Chapter 20

Lottie pov:
I woke up alone. Just as the day before, and every day since I had last shared a bed with him. Today something was different however. Today I had a choice. A decision to make.

The stars he had drawn were still there like a mark of his affection still with me. Proof he cares. Lando knows now, he's the only one that knows. I can't hide the truth from him anymore, though I can still try. My head is still telling me to stay hidden, to not let him in, but my heart, it cries out for him. The feeling of someone helping me with the pain was so foreign to me yesterday, yet now I seem to crave it so dearly. Inside I'm drowning in conflict. This morning however, I woke up alone. No Lando, just an empty room. He had left. Just as I had feared.

Since I woke up with him gone, it was like Lando had become a ghost in my life. I received no texts, no calls, nothing. I had truly been left. It's probably for the best, I mean no one can blame him, the pressure of a persons mental wellbeing lying on your shoulders is a lot for anyone, hence why I had always been so closed off. Despite it all I didn't wash the stars off, luckily they lasted for three more days, the first three days I had been clean in a while. Instead of moping around I decided to use his leaving as the start of a new era and to try one more time at picking myself up. The most shocking part of it all was that each thing I did reminded me of him to the point where it felt like every second was spent missing him.

Narrator:
Going into the race weekend it was obvious that something was affecting Lando. It was safe to say his has performance dropped rapidly in just two days. Friday and Saturday had Daniel and Max locking out the top two spots of every session and qualifying, leaving everyone asking why. Even Lottie. She had expected this least out of everyone, imagining that he was thriving without her. This weekend Karis had come to support her, and shall we say her soon to be boyfriend Carlos (between us he is gonna ask her out after the race). The blonde was overjoyed at the presence of her best friend to keep her mind off of Norris. Unfortunately at work all the talk was about him, with his lack of performance and the knowledge of him being able to take the championship this weekend all anyone wanted to speak about was Lando Norris in the commentary world, well all but one.

Lottie pov:
"LANDO NORRIS OFF AT TURN 10 INTO THE WALL AT HIGH SPEED, HIS CAR HAS GONE THROUGH THE BARRIER!" The presenter on the f1 feed shouts. A wave of nerves washes over me, praying he's ok.
"Lottie, are you seeing this!" Karis says in shock, no one saw this happening.
"Yes Karis I am, I hope he's ok" I haven't yet told her about the 'stars' incident, I'm not ready to share the part of me I'm hiding from her.
"He isn't responding to the radio" She shoots a worried look at me.
"He might just be unconscious, wait for what the marshals say"
"Good point, thank god it's not Carlos, but he will be worried for Lando"
"How close actually are they?" My curiosity takes over my mind for a second.
"Very, recently Lando calls about once every day, apparently something is going on in his personal life which is not to be shared with me. God I wish he would just tell me, especially since it is probably about you" She complains
"Why do you assume that?" I ask in horror despite actually being rather happy at her words.
"Because from what I've been able to get out of Carlos, Lando had fallen for you but obviously you hadn't for him" Right there and then it hit me, not only had I broken my own heart but his too, how stupid am I. My fairy tale chance of love was inches away from me and I pushed it away and fell off a cliff.

On the outside I am managing to appear calm but not knowing if he's ok mixed with my realisation is killing me. The urge is burning up inside of me, like a flame slowly consuming me waiting to be unleashed. Each second feels like an hour not knowing. Part of me feels guilty for the obvious rollercoaster of emotions I had put him through, probably causing this disaster. Am I to blame? My heart is beating as though it's trying to escape from a cage and leave my body. How much longer I can take this, I don't know. Please can someone tell me he's ok.
"Norris is being escorted to the nearest hospital, we can confirm that in this present moment he is still alive with the extent of his injuries unknown"
The news relieved some of me however I still had a mass of built up emotion. That choice I had and never made is in the forefront of my mind as one thing is clear to me now, I need him. Those moments of him possibly being dead were like the depths of hell. Now everything is in perspective.

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Finally back releasing a chapter! Came back with a bang of drama and love and everything! I misssed you guys xxx