Saving L

Chapter 21

                                             *tw (trigger warning)

Lottie pov:
After the race I had to converse with the team in some interviews reflecting on the race, with the main topic of conversation being Lando and Ferrari on the podium. As soon as i was allowed to leave I had never rushed to my hotel room faster, I just needed to be alone. Karis and Carlos had left the track earlier to attend some celebrations among other things so it is a night to myself just as I want. Or at least I think I do. As hard as I try I can barely think straight, it took me five attempts to open the door to my hotel room. Once I was inside I collapsed onto my bed and tried to distract myself with my phone but everything was about Lando.

The guilt building inside of me is unbearable. I can't help but feel I'm the reason he crashed. Maybe if I had just reached out rather than assuming the worst I wouldn't be praying for him to make a full recovery instead I could have been snuggled up safely in his arms. God I miss his embrace. What have I done? I'm conflicted with a burning urge of fear, ever since he found out, harming just hasn't been the same. Now there is someone to disappoint, to let down, well I hope there is. I badly need that boy. Images of heart machines running flat are flooding my mind trying to prepare for the worst outcome, it's unbearable. Why, why, why? This always seems to happen to me. It feels like I just ruin everything, everyone. To only make matters worse I can hear Karis and Carlos next door celebrating his podium after the team made a very smart safety car call, her moans mixed with his groans add to the spinning in my head as everything feels like it's moving too fast for me to keep up. My skin or clothes or anything no longer feels right; everything needs to stop feeling my senses just can't take it. I can't take it. In urgency I reach into my suitcase's secret compartment to find it. A small wave of relief hits my brain like a drug as I pierce into my wrist. Despite the blood I don't stop, I can't stop. I cut more and more as my head feels lighter and lighter. Until black. Bang.

Narrator:
Karis and Carlos were concerned about how Lottie must feel after Lando's pretty nasty crash. Deep down Karis knew she still had feelings and Carlos could confirm Landos affection. After having their own little fun, the ginger felt the need to check up on her best friend before they headed to the club; however when she knocked on the door she didn't answer. After knowing lottie for nearly ten years Karis knew that sleeping early wasn't her thing so went to find the Key card she had stolen from the blonde and came back to open the door. No one would have been prepared for what she saw.

Karis pov:
Shock. Utter shock. That's the only way to describe how I felt at first. How is any one meant to feel? I found my best friend bleeding out from her wrist on the floor of her hotel room, how isn't that shocking. If i had not checked on her she would be dead. She could have died. D, I, E, D, died. I knew Lottie was anxious but it had never crossed my mind why she had odd scars or that she would even think of harming herself. I thought she was ok, she didn't seem to be capable of this. Oh god, I'm a bad best friend aren't I, I should have known. Running away from Lando was a big red flag, how didn't I notice. For crying out loud I probably made things worse by constantly blabbing about my man. Tonight has gone from my boyfriend finally asking me to be official in the sweetest most romantic way I could have ever dreamed of to seeing the girl who is my rock half dead. Once I had gotten over the initial shock and horror I ran to Carlos knowing he would have a clear enough mind to get Lottie some help. We drove her to the hospital after calling in and deciding an ambulance would take too long. While he drove I kept pressure on her wrist to stop her losing more blood, she had already lost so much, I have no clue if a higher power exists but I am thanking them that she isn't dead. The doctors said that she would need a transplant for the blood she's lost so she would be kept in for a few days, I'm just hoping she hasn't damaged herself too much. What were you thinking Lottie? What happened? After the doctor left I just broke down in Carlos's arms- I had stayed strong for long enough.

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Ik ik another emotions one I promise it gets happy soon. Also we got a one off Karis Pov, the narrator just couldn't convey it right. Love yous xxx