Dreamcatchers Strange New Makane (Male reader)

Chapter 25 - A Simple Choice

Date: 13/05/19

Everything hurts. Why does my body feel like this? Why can't I open my eyes? Where am I? I could hear talking...what was it? I don't fully understand the language its not Korean or English...is it Japanese? We were in Japan for our tour...I-Is that right? H-Have I just imagined it all? D-Do the girls even exist? Something wet rolled down my cheek after that thought went through my head. But then something warmed grabbed my hand and wiped away the wet thing. A voice then spoke to me. It wasn't JiUs comforting voice but one that was just as warm for me.

Mum: I'm here baby. Everything is ok. You are ok. I love you.

Mum...why? How? You shouldn't be here...you should be in a different country at home. Not sat here next to me.

Mum: I should have gone to Korea with you. I'm sorry my sweet baby. M-Maybe you wouldn't be in this state if I was with you.

No mum. Don't say that. Its my own fault. Why are you trying to blame yourself?

Mum: Why did I let you go to Korea alone? You were just a kid but I-I let you go with no one around to support you. I'm so sorry I'm a horrible mother.

No. I begged and begged to go. I knew you couldn't go. Every night I kept thinking about your face when I was going into the airport. The strong facade but that last hug we shared I knew how hurt you were. I knew I should have waited to go. Even if it was a few more months but I couldn't I was too eager to go. You let me follow my dream. I love you more than anything.

???: But you can't even tell her that can you?

Another voice? Why does this one sound like my own? Where is it com-

???: Your subconscious. The part of you that despises every part of yourself for what you have become.

I don't hate myself anymor-

???: But you do. You hate that you didn't have the confidence to talk to your precious noonas about your stress and ended up like this because of it. You hated when Siyeon kicked you onto the street and wanted to die because of it. Come on Y/n. I am you. You can't lie to yourself because I'm the only person that knows exactly what goes on inside this dark mind if yours.

Shut up. I just want to wake up. I want to see my mum again I want to hug her. I want to hold her and tell her everything is going ok. I want to see the girls and-

???: But do any of these people want to see you? After all the only thing you do is make things worse for them. You worry the girls constantly. Any slight error in practice and the entire thing gets slowed down because of YOU. Even now where are those girls you treasure so much? They aren't the ones here. Its your poor fragile mother. Her heart will break and soon she will move on leaving you here until the doctors decide to pull the plug. But then again...isn't that all WE have ever wanted? To just die? Getting rejected from JYP, SM, YG the big three that pushed you into depression but you tried to fight and just got deeper and deeper into the depression UNITL! WHAT HAPPENED?

Dreamcatcher...

???: THATS RIGHT! BUT THAT DIDN'T FIX ANYTHING. WE ARE STILL TRASH! THOSE GIRLS THINK ABOUT HOW SUCCESFULLY THEY WOULD BE AS A GIRL GROUP AND NOT SEVEN GIRLS AND A SHIT STAIN ON THEIR CAREER! JUST DIE Y/N WE CAN GO OUT TOGETHER EVERYTHING WILL BE LIKE WE ALWAYS WANTED IT!

Mum: Y-Y/n sweetie...I have to go for the night. I'll come back tomorrow I promise...I'll come back.

The warmth of her hand left my cold body and I heard the sound of her shoes hitting the tiles as she left the room leaving me alone.

???: Alone? WE are together as always. Isn't that great? Why don't you stop fighting? What will happen if you keep fighting? The girls will love you? Will they really? Or will they realise how many problems you cause for them? Will they accept you back in this time? Neither of us know how long we have been like this. It could easily have been a few years. Who knows they might be the biggest girl group ever without YOU.