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12: BREAKFAST AND BROOMSTICKS

In which Rupert discovers a love for porridge.

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"Sleep well?"

Rupert rolled over. He went thunk.

"These floorboards..."

"What about them?"

"I think-although you'll have to take my word for this-that they are even more uncomfortable than a coffin."

"Really? Maybe you could consider it training."

Rupert bleared up at her. This is like looking, only earlier in the morning. "You're a bully."

Harriet smiled sweetly at him from the bed.

"I also think there's a mouse in my ear."

"No, that's just Juggalug. He probably kept the mice away."

"He better not have eaten any, or Miss Caw won't be happy."

"Is Juggalug even big enough to eat a mouse?"

"You've obviously never been to Night." Rupert got up slowly, wincing as his back complained about the night spent on the hard floor. "There are bugs there that could eat a werewolf. Whole."

"You're joking."

"I'm not."

"Oh."

Harriet was rather quiet as they made their way downstairs; the thought of werewolf-eating bugs will do that to a person. But she perked up at the pleasant smell that greeted them as they stepped into the downstairs room. She inhaled deeply. "Mmm. What's that?"

"Breakfast, deary," Miss Caw said, grinning at both of them. "A lovely big pan of porridge-my special recipe. I hope you'll both have a bowlful before you set off."

"We really have to get going," Rupert said. "If Dolphus was here two weeks ago, we've got some catching up to do, so-"

But Harriet interrupted him. "That would be most welcome, Miss Caw." She glanced at Rupert. "Surely we have time for some breakfast?"

"Well... I suppose so," Rupert conceded grudgingly. "But be quick."

"Why, won't you have any, dear?" Miss Caw asked, wounded. "I made it fresh this morning."

"As we discussed last night, Miss Caw, I am a vampire. As such, I don't have a fully functioning digestive system."

"Suit yourself, dear." She carried the pan of bubbling porridge to the table-Juggalug perched on the brim and sniffing appreciatively-while Harriet attempted to clear a space for it. This resulted in the dishes being stacked on the floor. "It wouldn't be a problem," Miss Caw said ruefully, "if my mice had been here to wash up for me this morning. But I let them go, just as you asked me to."

"I'm sure it was the right thing to do, Miss Caw," Harriet comforted her.

"As long as you turned them back into humans first," Rupert muttered.

"Of course I did, you rascal," Miss Caw said, making Rupert start. "Oh yes, I have a keen sense of hearing," she added when she saw his expression, tapping one ear.

"And are you going to turn Ferring back too?" Harriet asked.

"Yes, yes, don't fret, dear-I'll see to Ferring today. My my, but you two have veritably shaken up my poor little household."