Even If

Chapter IV

Dakota's POV 

He suddenly stopped, staring at me for a while before he cleared his throat and started acting awkwardly. 

"Jamie? Um, are you okay?" I asked out of concern because that simple question really bothered him. 

"Oh.....It's nothing....I'm just-I....um" he said stuttering while playing with the utensils in front of him. 

"You don't have to answer me Jamie if it's bothering you...." I put my hand on top of his on the table and gave him a smile. I mouthed "It's okay" and he sighs in relief. 

I wonder what's wrong with my Jamie here. 

We walked out of the Restaurant after a very fun 3 hours inside a restaurant but I still don't understand why Jamie acted so differently when I asked about Amelia......

We are already heading towards my apartment and it made me really sad to know that tonight was ending....I never want it to end. I want more time.

More time with Jamie. 

He opened the door for me and as I walked out of the car, I quickly gave him a kiss on the cheek. 

"Tonight was amazing, Jamie and I mean it when I say that you have really made me happy" he looks at me, deeply in the eyes, his eyes filled with emotions, concern, and at the same time struggle? I don't know why he's struggling but before I could ask him.....

"Amelia divorced me, Dakota" 

my eyes widened and I can't even explain how shock I am with what he said. 

"Oh my god.....Jamie, I am so sorry.....um, would, would you like to come in and talk about it?" I felt really sad for Jamie, I can see the sorrow and hurt in his eyes, and seeing him like that felt like a knife cutting through my chest and deep into my heart.

I can't believe someone would even think to divorce Jamie. I mean, he's a sweet guy, he's a gentleman, he's a responsible father, he's amazing. I can't even find any other man who is like him. 

Amelia should be thankful she had Jamie as a husband. 

We went inside my apartment and made Jamie sit on the breakfast bar. 

That reminds me.......

"Jamie, where's Dulcie?" I asked. Since it's only her and Jamie in new york. 

"When I got to my hotel room, Amelia was there holding Dulcie in her arms. She said she plans to take Dulcie with her for a vacation in her parent's home. She'll be back with me in about 2 weeks. So It's only me in New York" 

I made Jamie a cup of tea because just like what my mom said. "If ever you're feeling down in the dumps sweetheart, just drink a cup of tea"  It didn't work on me but I thought it might work on Jamie. 

I sat next to him and started rubbing his back while he drinks his tea. He relaxes for a while and looks at me. 

"Thank you, Dakota. When Amelia filed the divorce papers, you were actually the first person I thought of" I stared at him confused. Why me, Jamie?  I looked down and played with my thumbs, feeling that I'm starting to blush. 

He let out a sigh and holds my chin, making me look at him "Because I know that no matter what happens, Dakota. You will always be there for me...."  

And I will do, Jamie. 

I promise. 

I stood up from my chair and gave Jamie a hug. He does the same and we've been like that for at least 10  minutes. I can feel tears running down his cheeks when my neck is already wet from it. 

"Shhhh jamie please don't cry, you're stronger than this......I know you are. Don't let this bring you down. This happened for a reason and your job is to find that reason okay? This is not the end of everything Jamie. Your family, your friends are here for you. Dulcie is here for you......

......I am here for you, Jamie" 

He looks up at me and I stared into his eyes. I can see pain. I smiled at him and took his handkerchief from his pocket and wiped his tears. 

Damn, I've seen a lot of men cried before but this is the first time I saw a man cried in front of me and actually felt his own sorrow. 

"Jamie, listen to me okay? You will get through this. I know you love Amelia, that's why you married her.....the two of you created a blessing. But, life isn't always bliss remember that? In love, there was never only bliss, there's a pain too. You chose to love and you also chose to fight the pain you're going to experience throughout. When things are meant to be, then love is in your favor. But if it's not, then you just have to accept it and move on.  Be strong........ for your daughter and of course for yourself." 

He pulls me into a hug again and he whispered to me "Thank you, dakota. I am forever grateful that I met you" while hearing small sobs here and there. 

Jamie sat down on the couch and I let him watched TV. I'm in the kitchen washing the dishes left there earlier today. 

A vulnerable Jamie. I wish I could do something to make him feel all better again. I regret asking him at dinner. 

It's already 1:30 in the morning and as I was about to close the lights above the sink. I can hear Jamie snoring on the couch. I laughed quietly not even bothering to wake him up. 

I removed his shoes, and settle his legs on the couch. I gently pulled him towards the end of my couch where a soft pillow is positioned for his head. Damn, he's a heavy sleeper. 

I turned off the TV and went to my bedroom to get him a soft blanket. 

I put it over him and gave him a peck on the cheek. Sneaky Dakota. 

"You know that I love you Jamie, so much and I just hope you'll be happy again......I hate seeing you sad. It's the last thing I want to see in the world"  I whispered softly. 

I went to my bedroom and before I close the door I stared at him for a while. 

Oh Jamie. 

I lay down and started to drift to sleep.