Even If

Chapter X

Jamie's POV 

I told her I loved her. I told her that I really do love her......so much more than the love she feels for me. It feels so good to love, to be loved, and to be madly in love. 

She breaks the kiss, looks at me deeply into my eyes. I feel her emotions reaching out to me. I can feel her soul coming out from her eyes. I can sight the water building up in the sides of her eyes.....

Wait what

Why is she crying? 

JAMIE WHAT THE HELL. 

She stood up, still looking at me. I am so confused, I thought she said she loved me, then why is she crying. Did the kiss go too far? YOU ALMOST HAD SEX WITH HER HOW CAN THAT BE TOO FAR. 

"Dakota......I'm so sorry, If I did something wrong I-" 

"Jamie, I'm sorry. I  got confused" she manages to break eye contact and stares down at her twiddling thumb 

I cup her chin and carefully lift her chin up, forcing her to look at me. 

"What's wrong?" 

She removes my hands from her chin and walks towards the breakfast bar. 

"Just a little long ago......you were telling me how much Amelia means the world to you. I can see it in your eyes that you really did love her and.....and....." she takes a deep breath, holding a cry, and continues.

"I felt that I can never give the happiness Amelia gave you when you were still married. I am so shocked when you said you loved me, I felt this extreme happiness in my heart and soul then suddenly hitting me with all your stories of Amelia and it got me really confused and I just....." 

She started to cry, real hard. I stared at her not knowing what to do. I can see the confusion and pain in her eyes. She covers her mouth, trying so hard to control the pain she's feeling, but failing miserably. 

I went to her and hugged her tight, I can feel her fast-beating heart in my chest. I held her head and rested it on my neck. I hugged her tighter, kissed her hair repeatedly. She wraps her arms around my waist, hugging me tightly. For the first time, I felt, after so long

She really does love me and her hug tells me that she never wants to let go. 

Realizing that I was smiling like an Idiot for some reason....

It hit me

Man, I do love this girl. 

I lift up her head from my shoulders and wiped her tears. Her skin, pale as snow, her lips soft and red matching her puffy red eyes, and yet managed to still be the most beautiful human being god has ever blessed the earth. 

Truly,  a gift to mankind......especially to me. 

"Dakota, listen to me" 

she sniffed and wiped her eyes, she gave me a smile that doesn't reach her eyes signaling me to go on. 

"I really did love Amelia, so much. I want to be honest with you. I can admit that that's why I married her, It's obvious, right? But Dakota......Amelia isn't the girl you think she is, sometimes I can't even remember when was the last time she made me happy with her and our marriage. The only person that is keeping me alive and joyful months before the divorce was my daughter. Our angel" 

I stopped and took a deep breath......I grabbed my inhaler before I continued

"The vows are a promise to be kept by the couple in marriage. They have to stick with it no matter what happens. The vows uttered on that day were a sacred lock between the two people in love. I promised to her 'For better or for worst....' "