Even If

Chapter IX

Dakota's POV

Why would Amelia even try to steal Dulcie away from her own father?

"Jamie, I'm confused. When you got divorce didn't you and Amelia joint custody for Dulcie?"

"Yes we did but...."

He looks confused and struggling to find the right words to say. He sat on the couch and I followed him. I kept quiet, battling with my own thoughts If I should break the silence and ask him what's wrong because I am confused as hell or......just wait.

"Dakota...." ugh finally.

I looked at him and he started tearing up. I quickly grabbed his hand and pulled him into a deep hug.

"No no Jamie, no please"

It hurts me to see Jamie so vulnerable. To be honest, He's more fragile than me. He might be the happiest guy you'll ever meet, but once you get to know him, there's this side of him that pains you to know.

"Dakota, you don't know Amelia.....you just don't. I want to tell you but I can't find the right words to say...."

"You don't have to Jamie, I understand. I'm not pushing you." Even though I'm eager to know, I don't want to put pressure on him. He's had enough.

"Thank you, dakota. Thank you so much" He breaks the hug and pulled my face closer to him and gave me a kiss on the lips.

We spent the whole evening in silence, sipping our tea while the music on the radio is playing.

I was playing with Dulcie's hair while she's sleeping and still never letting go of

I excused myself and carried Dulcie back to my bedroom so she can be comfy. I locked all windows and of course, double-locked my front door so there wouldn't be any more incidents.

When I came back, I saw Jamie looking at a polaroid photo. It breaks my heart to someone who means more than the world to me in that kind of state.

I sat next to him and stared at him for a while. His eyes began to water, his lips are trembling like his controlling a sob that is about to go out. Oh Jamie.

I took the photo in his hands and it's a picture of a newborn Dulcie.

"There's a reason why I married Amelia, Dakota...."

I sat closer to him and held his hands for comfort.

"I loved Amelia, truly. Even though our marriage was a bit fast, I knew back then that It was the right choice..."

It's painful. It's really painful to hear someone who has your heart, declare their undying love for someone who has left them hanging.

"The first few years I knew Amelia, I was completely amazed by her sophisticated persona, her voice, and her beauty. She made me believe that destiny really does exist. I mean, even Keira never made me feel the way she did.........the longer our relationship lasted, the more eager I am to marry her and spend the rest of my life with her. Grow old with her....."

I think I'm going to cry. Shit Dakota. Stop.

He held my hands tighter, and looks up at me, and gives me a very comforting smile. Oh lord. How does his smile relax my heart that fast?

"When we got married, things started to change.......and that's when I realized. I don't know Amelia that much and that she has kept big things from me, things that I should know about before getting married....."

He stopped. I looked at him and his eyes, his eyes are filled with horror. Like everything he has been through in the past with Amelia is suddenly flowing back into his beautiful eyes.

"I should have known....I should have at least knew"

"What is it, Jamie?"

"Amelia has a Psychological Problem, Dakota"

At first, I was shocked but I didn't know what to react like It's not enough details for me to completely blurt out my thoughts about it.

"So? what if she has a Psychological Problem? Well, you did say in your vows, for better or for worst...."

"NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND DAKOTA......YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND.......IT'S LIKE.....IT'S LIKE" he started hyperventilating. 

OH SHIT WHERE IS HIS INHALER? 

I ran to my bedroom and startled Dulcie.

"I'm sorry baby girl, go back to sleep okay?" I kissed her forehead quickly and head to the living room where Jamie is already on the floor clutching his shirt tight.

I gave him his inhaler and rubbed his back, I held him tight while he's still catching his own breath.

"Shit jamie, I'm so scared. Please, you'll be fine just calm down please calm down Jamie. Breathe okay? Just breathe, sweetheart" I hugged him tightly and I can feel him calming down. I helped him stand up and I laid him down on the couch. I hurriedly went into the kitchen to fetch him water.

I knelt down beside him and start to notice that he's shivering. I gave him the blanket that I left on the couch and tucked him in, nice and cozy.

MY GOD HE IS STILL SHIVERING. OH DAKOTA CALM DOWN YOU CAN'T HAVE A PANIC ATTACK. YOU'LL BOTH DIE FOR FUCKS SAKE.

I grabbed a deep bowl from one of the cabinets in the kitchen, heated up water, and took out a clean towel from the bathroom. Jamie took care of me, and now It's my time to take care of my angel.

"You're cold, Jamie. I'm going to give you a hot sponge bath so it'll warm you"

I grabbed his arm and he suddenly stopped me.

"Dakota, you're still in bruises please, I'm the one who's suppose to be taking care of you"

I looked at him and smiled. I kissed his cheeks and said "Jamie, the pain that I felt from all of these scars and bruises.......is nothing compared to the pain I feel seeing you like that"

He stared at me, not quite sure of what kind of emotion he's feeling.

He stood up, grabbed the bowl and towel away from my hand, put it on the center table, and sat me down right next to him.

"Dakota.....I felt the same way when you were beaten up by some random thugs on the streets of new york. Seeing you taking care of me, warms my heart, seriously and I am and will forever be grateful that our paths have crossed"

I stroke his cheeks and laid my forehead on his.

"I love you, Jamie"

DAKOTA. WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK.

I started to panic and I can feel my own chest tighten.

"Oh no no no Jamie, I'm sorry, I'm just.......I know, you still love.....um....I'm sorry, I just you know"

He grabbed my hand and pulled me into a deep kiss.

FIREWORKS. SPARKS. OH BUTTERFLIES EVERYWHERE.

He lets go and stares at me, seeing his lips slowly ascend into a smile.

"Dakota.....

I love you so much more"