Fade Into You | ↺

4 | I Want You

Okay, if Lennon wanted my Spotify, he definitely could have it. But I just had to clean it up a bit and make the playlist about him less obvious so that he might not find out that it was about him.

Then I laughed at my playlist names.

Blood tastes like metal was my metal playlist for example.

I love gardening was the playlist about him now. I chose the name ten seconds ago, hoping that Lennon wouldn't get suspicious at the name. I still couldn't believe that he'd asked for my Spotify. In my love language, this meant a lot. Sometimes I could get even more attracted to people when I knew that they liked the same music is me, which is probably one of the reasons why I fancied Lennon this much.

That and that he had some vibe or glow or whatever about him, that made it every time really hard to look away, when I was looking at him.

Then I finally decided to send him my profile and answered Lennon.

Me

Sure, here you go

Spotify.uk/user/

I hope you'll send me yours in return then

Lennon

Only because you asked nicely

Spotify.uk/user/

Me

How generous

I just still couldn't believe the fact that this happened, it just felt all so surreal. Still I was so fucking happy, if I could, I would've done some crazy flips or something. At least the butterflies in my stomach were doing them.

Fucking hell, I still had to do my Homework and some studying for the next exams.

-

A few weeks went by and nothing more happened. Sadly. I'd only seen Lennon at school and that had also been rarely. He never saw me, as the few times that I'd seen him, he was walking somewhere in front of me and then went through a door I didn't had to go through. I knew that they had a hard exam time at the moment so I wasn't minding it that much, we hadn't seen Floyd that much either.

I had been constantly contemplating whether I should text Lennon again or not. It just felt like life has went back to normal which normally wasn't a bad thing, but I just wanted these adrenaline rushes I got from the one time speaking to him again. Or maybe I just wanted to see him again in general, I wasn't quite sure. But just admiring him from a distance would also be enough for me. I just wanted to watch him and drown in an ocean of him.

Good thing that there would be another The Skulls concert today, which I had been very excited about.

While I was getting ready I put on my favourites playlist, Nutshell flood through my bedroom. I loved that song with all my heart and Layne Staley aswell. In my emotional moments I cried over his death, Chris Cornell and Kurt Cobain's as well. I knew it was quite weird but I always felt so sad, acknowledging that they're gone. And the fact that Floyd looked like Chris didn't really make it better and that they even shared the same birthday also didn't. But I guess I felt some kind of comfort in that, knowing that these sorts of people still exist, that they didn't die with Chris, Kurt and Layne and the others.

I decided to wear some flared jeans and a crop top that had Alice In Chains written all over it, I had made it a while ago, because I didn't have any Alice In Chains merch in general. For the jacket I chose my favourite brown oversized soft denim jacket. It had a few fun little drawings on it, that some friends had drawn. Like Ana who had drawn a skull that looked like Layne Staley, because of the sunglasses and everything. I wanted to get that drawing tattooed when I turn eighteen.