I'm standing on this little line, because I don't wanna move.
Or do I?
I'm indecisive.
Can't move.
I want to have commitment, but I'm scared of being dependent.
Can't move.
I want to focus on myself, build up the things I've started, make a secure way for my being.
But I can't seem to stop thinking about the hate I still have against my own self.
Can't move.
I'm feeling strong, happy, I'm actually starting to gain pride in the things I do.
Still I wanna cry every second and I'm doing things I'll never be proud of.
Can't move.
I'm using people, making them my own little toy, but only the ones I cannot imagine any future with.
If I see someone I might be serious with I'm running away and building a wall to distract myself from
the opportunity.
I'm scared to go back, but even more to go further.
Can't seem to understand myself, even if I'm the proudest of the level of self awareness I've gained. How do I know myself, if I don't even know how I will react to things, even if I should?
Can't move.
I'm feeling ignorant about things I should be grateful for, I don't seem to understand anymore how I should represent what I've been doing once.
I'm standing on this little line because I can't move.
I'm not going back, I don't want to.
I hated that, and I cannot afford to lose all the things I won by learning about myself and my needs.
Can't move.
I need to loosen up and try to stop thinking about the hard things.
I have to fixate myself and collect my thoughts to guide myself through everything.
Big breath.
And after all I'm just an adult who's basically still a kid, but have every opportunity in my hands to progress myself in any way I want to!
But still I can't move.
