Love me. Choose me.

{9} Love me

I sat in the school courtyard with math textbooks and notebooks sprawled out on the table before me, clenching the pencil in my hand as I stared at the book as if my life depended on it. After struggling to fit in with the astute math geniuses who didn’t even act as if I existed, the one thing I dreaded was seeing an F on my year-one results.

"If you move around with brilliant people, you’ll end up like them." Isn’t that exactly what anyone would suggest when it comes to choosing good friends?

Well, I had one. My very own pal, and he’s super smart in almost everything.

Shane sat opposite me, his hand on the table as he tried his best to explain the math assignment I had placed before him. I was somehow interested in learning how to solve the mathematical questions, but as he started explaining, a thought of Trent popped into my head, making it hard to concentrate.

All I could think about was Trent. The first time I saw him—his blue eyes and perfectly sculpted jawline. My heart fluttered at my thoughts, and I found myself smiling and twirling a strand of my hair.

"This is a basic logarithmic function. If you weren't thinking about something irrelevant, you’d be able to solve it on your own based on my explanation," Shane said.

I nodded, feigning understanding as I stared at Shane with bleary eyes. Shane sighed and adjusted his position on the bench. "Have you been listening to what I've been saying?"

"Uh, of course," I replied, trying to recollect what he had been saying but failing to remember. "Can you please explain it again tomorrow? I have until Thursday to submit the assignment."

"I knew you hadn't been listening," Shane grumbled, packing his stuff from the table. He hung his bag on his left shoulder. "I’m pretty tired at the moment. I need a nap."

I stood up and quickly gathered my stuff from the table. "Sorry for putting you through this much stress. It's just that I need to learn math. The worst thing that could happen to me right now is failure." Trying to clear the guilt I felt at that moment was hard. I could lie to anyone, but one thing I knew I couldn’t do was lie to myself.

We walked together until I spotted Trent sitting alone on the bleachers, engrossed in his phone. I told Shane I was leaving, and he nodded and continued toward the building where his dorm was located.

I walked toward Trent, who seemed obsessed with his phone. I took a seat next to him and leaned forward to get a glimpse of what had captured his attention so much that he hadn’t noticed me. He jolted and quickly tucked the phone into his pocket when he noticed me. His eyes diverted toward me at once, and he flashed a smile—a sham smile. His uneasy behavior made me feel like he was hiding something.

"Babe, I didn't know you were here," he said, reaching out to grab my hand. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine. I was heading to my dorm when I saw you here," I mumbled as our fingers intertwined.

He smirked, his gaze drifting to my chest. "I've missed you. I've been dying to see you all day. I love you, Noelle." He looked up, making eye contact with me, his eyes peering into mine.

I blinked, my heart beating fast and my cheeks flushing. He let go of my hand and tucked a loose strand of my black hair behind my ear, caressing my cheek with his fingers.

"You're the most adorable woman I've ever met," he mumbled, leaning in to kiss me.

I tried to breathe, bracing myself for his lips and what it might do to my infatuated sensibility. His phone beeped twice, distracting him. He looked down at his pocket.

He then stood up and stretched out his hand to me. Another beep sounded, and he brought out his phone, glancing at the screen.

"Who's that?" I asked, but he didn't respond. Refusing to take his hand, I helped myself up. He tried to grab my hand, but I slapped it away. There was something he was hiding, and I couldn't turn a blind eye to it. Everyone who had been around me knew one thing for certain: I'm a bad thinker and I exaggerate a lot.

At that moment, my mind was playing detective on its own. Does he have a girl he's secretly dating apart from me? Am I even in love with this guy? What if he has something bad cooked up for me?

"Calm down, babe. It's just Dylan and Thomas texting. The soccer match I've been waiting for all day is about to start, and they want me there," Trent said. "It's no big deal, I'm not cheating on you."

The way he hesitantly said the last words gave him away. Trent was bad at lying.

***

I pushed open my dorm room door and plodded inside, shutting the door behind me. Sawyer was sitting on her bed with a book. When she saw me, she dropped it beside her.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

I nodded with a sigh and dropped my bag on the floor, collapsing onto my bed. "I'm fine."

"Were you able to get your friend to explain your math assignment?" Sawyer stood up and took a seat next to me on the bed.

"Something like that," I mumbled. My head was filled with worries about what Trent was hiding. No matter how much I tried not to think about it, I found myself drifting deeper into my suspicions.

"What's the problem?" Sawyer asked, staring at me like I had something interesting plastered on my face.

I couldn't hold it in anymore, so I told her everything.

Her eyes widened. "He's cheating on you, Noelle," Sawyer sputtered with a disgusted eye roll.

"I'm not sure yet. I can't believe it until I have proof that he is cheating," I muttered.

Sawyer's jaw dropped, and she gave me a sympathetic look before scooting back to her bed. "I'm speechless. No one can convince a girl like you. Even if the truth is screaming in front of you, you still won't believe it."

I lay flat on my bed, staring at the ceiling. What's wrong with me?

Top question

Have you ever spent time explaining something to a friend, only to realize they hadn't been listening?

What do think Trent is trying to hide?

Do you think Sawyer is right? Is Trent cheating?

Author's note

Writing this chapter turned out to fun than I expected. However, I'm still struggling with the description and trying to polish each chapter before I post them.

But with time I'm sure things will turn out right. Thanks for reading this book, it means a lot to me. Any idea on how I could improve my description?

With love
Clara Joel