Cigarette And Lavender(Halfway Edited)|| Salvis || Sally Face ||

25

Travis's pov

I awoke to the smell of smoke. I sit up and rub my eyes. I look around curious as to where the smell is coming from. I hear the faucet running in the kitchen.

I stand from the couch and stretch my arms above my head before wandering into the kitchen to investigate. I'm caught off guard at the sight of a pan on the stove burning big red flames whilst sal is struggling to put it out. "What the fuck?" I say in a panic whilst rushing over there. "what has happened?!" He glanced up at me. "Shit shit shit! It's an oil fire! Don't just stand there help me!" He rushes

I sigh before opening the cupboard and pulling a bag of flower into my hands before emptying the contents of the bag onto the stove. I watch the fire die down. "How the fuck did flour work but not water?" He questions in disbelief "because it's an oil fire. Water will only make it worse."

I yawn "now can you come back to the couch? It's cold." He follows me to the couch before we crawl under the blanket and drift back to sleep.

~~~

I've come to find that I like sal a bit more that friends. I don't like him like a gay. No way! Maybe I just like him as a bestfriend, but then again a guy doesn't fantasize about holding and kissing his bestfriend.

I shake my head trying to push away my sinful thoughts. I take a puff off my cigarette as I stare at the dirty bricks worn from years of supporting a sturdy ceiling.

I hear the door swing open and sal steps out. "Why are you out here?" He says with a yawn as he tries to flatten out his bed-head.

"Just thinking." I reply. He hums and takes the cig out of my hand before taking a drag. "about what?" He questions. "You." I reply almost uncontrollably.

My face heats up. I wait for a reaction, the silence becomes too loud. The only response I get is his head dropping onto my shoulder.

He takes my hand in his. The winter air brushes against my face. I stare at the old treehouse in the distance. Sal said that it's Larry's and he doesn't want anyone up there. I wonder why.

Sal pulls his mask above his mouth, I think he's about to take another drag off the cigarette but he kisses my hand instead.

A thousand thoughts run through my head and I feel like I'm not in control of my body. I push him off of me as hard as I can.

"Don't touch me you fucking faggot!" I scream at the top of my lungs. He doesn't reply. I'm met with the blank expression of his mask, before I run as fast as I can.

I find myself at a small cow field that my mother used to take me to. The once flower covered ground is covered in a thin sheet of snow.

The only thing I can think about is sal kissing my hand. I hated it. I hated it because of how much I liked it. I want to be able to do that stuff. I want to be able to love, and to be loved. But there's no way I can do that, especially with sal.

If my father found out he would kill me. I feel so bad for treating sal like that. Stupid, stupid, stupid Travis. Why have you always got to fuck up everything good?

I hate my anger. It feels like it bubbles inside me and burns my skin. It feels like it's clawing to get out and when it finally does it feels like I'm not in control anymore. I hate myself and the way I act.

I wish I were normal. I wish I had a loving father and mother, like the kids on TV.

The urge to go home and get high is strong, but I know I cant. I've been trying to get sober, because I know if I want to have any relationship with sal I can't keep it up, he'll find out and he'll hate me. It's been 3 weeks and Im so close to giving up, but there's that tiny ounce of hope thats been keeping me going. I guess it's easier to get better when you have a reason to. My reason is sal, and I probably just fucked that up too.

Hot tears flood my eyes. I lay on the ground and try to ignore the sting of the cold against my neck.

I have to make things right with him, he's all I have left. Not now though. If I went back now, Larry would probably kick my ass. I know he tells Larry everything.

If my mother were here she'd tell me what to do. She would me make feel better.

I've been so busy so I havent been able to post another chapter. If you can't tell I've been trying to get this story done and over with but it's kinda hard. This was written in the span of an hour and it's not edited. I'm not sorry.

Don't forget to take your meds, eat, and drink water. Have a good day/night I love you 🫶🏼🫶🏼