Cigarette And Lavender(Halfway Edited)|| Salvis || Sally Face ||

34

Travis's pov

We sat in silence for what felt like eternity before he cleared his throat and set his cup on the nightstand. I looked up from my cup as he turned towards me.

He sighed as he scratched gizmo behind his ears. He looked up from the fat tabby. "I'm sorry for talking to him when you told me not to," he explained, "It's okay, you got curious, I get it" I rasped,

He again went quiet. "What happened?" He spoke. I knew what he was talking about but I didn't see the point in telling him again. "I thought he already told you?" I responded with it sounding more like a question.

"He did, but I want to hear it from you," he paused, "How else am I supposed to know if he told the truth?"

I felt my hands begin to shake, and my throat felt tight like I couldn't get anything out. My chest felt heavy, I knew this would happen at some point, and when I tell him he's just going to leave me.

His eyes flickered to mine and they held a sort of gentleness and patience that made me calm down a bit. No one had ever looked at me like that, and I couldn't help but wonder if that's how I looked at him too.

He had come into my life just as I hit rock bottom, and he helped me up from it. If he hadn't left when he found out about everything else then why would he leave now? I felt horrible for having such little faith in him.

He pulled my hands in his, softly brushing his thumbs over my knuckles. He sat back against his pillow and pulled my head into his chest. "What're you doing?"

"I sometimes find it easier to talk to people when I can't see their face, I figured it might help," he replied thoughtfully as he began to run his hand through my hair.

I took a deep breath before speaking up, "When I met Benjamin we bonded over our shitty home lives so we became close pretty fast, his mom used to take all their money to use it on crack and then she'd disappear for days at a time, when she would leave he'd take her drugs and resell them so that he could feed his siblings," I paused. "Somewhere along the way, he got hooked, and eventually...I did too,"

"I tried to keep my friendship with him and my friendships with Emile and Philip separate but Larry, who was friends with all of them at that time, introduced Emile and Benjiman which led to him meeting Phil too," I exhaled a shaky breath. "We were all pretty young when it started so I don't think we fully grasped the idea of how fucked up it was for a bunch of twelve year olds to be doing coke together," My voice cracked as I began to talk again. "I didn't mean for him to see it at all, I was trying to keep Phillip away from all of it but I was so fucking stupid,"

My shoulders began to shake with my uncontrollable sobs. Retelling Everything that's happend in the past five years brought back so many feelings I had buried. I felt gross for everything I did. I hated myself, and I knew Sal deserved better then me, I expected him to push me off or ask for some space or anything, but his hands didn't even falter in running through my messy hair.

He held me close to his chest as I let everything out, and not once did he let go.

~~~

As I awoke I saw that Sal wasn't in the bed with me anymore which caused me to momentarily panicked before I noticed him on the other side of the room cleaning the clutter on his shelves. There was a slow song playing on the radio in the corner, which I found abnormal for his music taste. He sang along softly, repeating the lyrics.

"Fade into you
It's strange you never knew"

I noticed it was dark outside as I glanced out of the slightly drawn curtains. I peered at the alarm clock on his nightstand, it read 1:47AM.

As the song on the radio came to an end I spoke up. "You didn't tell me you could sing," He slowly turned around, his face and neck red as a tomato. "You didn't tell me you were awake," he responded.

I raised an eyebrow at him. "I don't like singing in front of other people, it's embarrassing," he explained. "I liked hearing you sing, the song was nice too, drastically different from your usual,"

I dropped my legs over the side of his bed before standing up and stretching my arms above my head. I made my way over to him to see what he was doing in the floor.

He was flipping through a CD book, occasionally stopping to pull one out and set it to the side. "What are you doing?"

"I'm getting rid of the ones I don't listen to anymore," he responded.

I watched as he continued to sort through them, and when he eventually finished he stood up and placed the CD book back in its place on the shelf. He turned to me before speaking, "Wanna go for a walk with me?" He questioned.

"It's two in the morning," I stated. "You have wonderful observation skills but that didn't answer my question," he teased as I sighed, "Okay let me get my shoes on," I agreed.

I hated and loved writing this chapter at the same time and if you know the song i was talking about MARRY ME . I hope you guys enjoyed. Don't forget to eat, drink water, and take ur meds. Ily have a good day ♡♡