AMPHIBIAN

CHAPTER ONE

My husband is a very masculine man.
He believes that even a small amount of feminine behavior automatically makes you a fool.
His conservative behavior has cost him his job before, when we were in college, he worked at an ice cream parlor, the uniforms were a light pink, not even pink, a salmon color. When he saw what he was supposed to wear, he flipped out, he said that men have no business wearing light colors, especially pink. He said that every man there was a coward, a pussy, that their mothers should be ashamed of raising such a loser.
Luckily, he was fired on the spot, on his first day…
Police had to escort him out of the building, he’s now banned from that parlor, and every shop on the boardwalk. If he breaks that ban, he’ll be arrested, he already has discrimination charges from a few years ago on his file.
That story makes me quite suspicious…
He just graduated with a bachelor’s degree in business administration, and he just got into his dream business school. He had it going, he just got promoted to manager of a pencil making company, so he had full control of the employees.
One day, a lovely young girl applies to be a social media manager, during their interview, my husband asked her if she’d ever kiss a woman.
The girl was shocked, and disgusted by this sudden question, but she answered it.
She said that she was married to a woman, and her wife was the one who drove her to the interview.
My husband was furious, he started throwing homophobic comments, those comments turned into bible verses, then yelling, objects were thrown.
The girl was okay…Physically.
Of course, she pressed charges, called corporate, he was immediately fired and now he’s banned from THAT company.
That’s where the discrimination, hate crime, and attempted assault charges infected his squeaky clean record.
He was so ashamed from the incident, he couldn’t get any jobs, no one would hire him. So we moved. To Paris.
We met in Bourdeaux, my home town, my husband is from Canada.
I saw him at a library, he was constantly getting asked to leave because he was too loud, he was often on the phone with his lawyer, ya know, the past incidents…
Anyway, after he was finally thrown out, I went outside to ask if he was okay, that’s when something clicked.
We started hanging out, hanging out turned into making out, making out turned into just plain sex. After 5 months of this loop, he asked me to be his girlfriend.
I said yes.
He bought me flowers every time he saw me, followed by gifts, watches, diamonds, anything he could afford.
His dad founded a famous car company, so he was loaded.
I grew up with a small amount of money, so I was thrilled to find out about his riches.
The only problem in our relationship was when I introduced him to my family, he was shocked to see that I had two moms.
Lauren and Baker.
Lauren, (the one who gave birth to me and my sister) hugged my husband at the door.
Baker quickly joined her, and started talking about how me and Lauren act the same.
Before she could finish, my husband mumbled “Disgusting.” under his breath.
It was loud enough for all of us to hear, which got him kicked out.
I sheepishly followed, my family was disappointed in me for marrying such a harsh man, but I can’t help it, I love him, and I also can’t leave him since I’m pregnant.
He doesn’t know.
My family doesn’t know either.
Our wedding was small, not because we wanted it to be, but because we drove our loved ones away with our actions.
I regret it, for sure.
I haven’t spoken to my family in 4 years.
My husband hasn’t spoken to his in 8.
It doesn’t bother him, though, he has other hobbies.
Other hobbies that take all night to complete, so he’s clearly focused on other things.
The thought of him having an affair doesn’t bother me, it’s who he’s sleeping with that keeps me awake.
At first, I figured it was some office slut on the 3rd floor, but I recently learned that she was fired..For making a pass at him.
So, my mind stays open…
He tells me that he likes golfing, which is why he’s out for so long, but why would you go golfing in the middle of the night?

***

I finally closed my journal, it’s quite refreshing to dump my daily thoughts into this small journal.
It’s something to do when you’re 6 weeks pregnant, and still afraid to tell the father.
I don’t know how to tell him, I also don’t know how he’d react to me carrying his child.
“Amelie.” My husband calls from the bathroom.
“Yes, dear?”
“Put that planner away…I’m in the mood for something.”
“Oh…What kind of something?” I asked, I slid the “planner” under the bed.
“I want to have sex.”
“Oh.”
“But I have some props to get us started.” My husband walked out the bathroom and took off his belt.
I sat there, with a confused look on my face. “I want you to use this on me.”
“I’m sorry, what?” I laughed.
“DON’T…Laugh..Just…Just do it…Tie it around my neck.”Oh my god. He’s serious. He wants his belt tied around HIS neck. I did it, though, we haven’t had sex in a month, he’s been distant..So if he wants me to treat him like a strange dog, then I’ll do it. He bent over once I finally tied it on him… “Call me…a bad dog…” Absolutely not. Absolutely not. Hell no.
“...Bad…dog..?” I whispered, just saying that makes me want to rip out my lungs. The ungodly noise I heard from this man after I said it disturbed me, it sounded like he’s been holding his pee in all day.
OUAHH…The fuck is that?
What…What made him ask for such things?
Once we were finished, his face was bright red, and he immediately rolled over.
I went to the bathroom, because the sight of him makes me want to cry from embarrassment.
I don’t kink shame, but he has no business being as homophobic as he is, then asking me to tie a belt around his damn neck.