Criminal Minds One-Shots

Not Again (1 of 2)

Aaron Hotchner x NativeAmerican!Male!Reader

Isn't it funny how life works out. You spend your whole life painstakingly hiding who you are. And, as soon as you're happy, that's when it all come crashing down. It's never good for long. And, the calm is never anything compared to the storm that follows.

It all happened too fast. One minute, you were dropping Jack and Carli off for their last day of fourth grade. Unloading the SUV and double checking the back seat for, lunch boxes, homework sheets, and projects. Shooting Aaron a quick text that the kids got onto campus to ease his worried mind. Ruffling Jack's hair and securing Carli's cheer bow. "Love you!" You had yelled as they took off. "I love you too, Daddy." They had called back, in unison. You remember buckling up, starting the car, leaving the school parking lot, and then getting on the freeway.

It was just the mundane start to every weekday. You would get to the university in about twenty minutes, clock in on your MacBook, unlock your office, skip to the coffee cart, print out your handouts, and go to your 9 am lecture class. Since today was Wednesday, you were in for a long night. Classes and grading would eat up all your time at the university as well. Tomorrow would be a zoo trip and buying the necessities for the kids to take along to sleepaway camp.

All that you remember next was a weird ticking sound. It definitaly wasn't a noise a brand new Lexus should make. "Odd." You remember exclaiming. Then, everything went black

POV Change!

"Aaron." Rossi said as he walked right into the wide open door to Hotch's office. Hotch offered little more than a half-hazard wave as he stared down at the packing list for his son and step-daughter. They were only going to be at camp a week, why on earth did the camp want them to pack ten spare sets of underwear? or four extra outfits. all for a seven day, six night stay in heated, fully-furnished cabins.

Rossi rounded the desk to see what had his teammate and close friend so concentrated. "Wow." He reacted after seeing the long list of necessities both kids would need. "Looks like you and Y/N will be busy all weekend with that shopping list." Aaron's face lit up. Like it always did whenever someone so much as said your name. It was like a reflex at this point. Like he couldn't even control it. He was just so happy.

--------

Aaron had always known he wasn't straight. But, his own Catholic upbringing, as well as the abusive hand of his father, led him to mask any non-hetero attractions he might have. Haley, bless her soul, was the one to help him out of his shell after the separation went from trial to real. She had took the time to reassure him that any and all feelings he had were normal. That not all men are strictly gay or strictly straight. That she would never dream of taking Jack away for any reason, which had been in the back of his mind (thanks, in no small part, to his deep-rooted fear of his sexuality being used as a weapon against him.) since he made the personal discovery that, without Haley, his sexuality was weighting more towards homo attractions than hetero ones.

You, on the other hand, never even wanted to believe you were gay. You hid it for the better part of three decades. All while trying to force an attraction to women. But no matter how much you appreciated them, and in some cases emotionally loved them, the relationship died out as soon as sex became an expectation or even became a talking point. You just couldn't do it.

It wasn't until your first closeted experience that you realized what desire was. Sex became a fantasy for you. No longer did you have to feel shameful that thinking of the male physique was the only way for you to 'arrive' while alone. And, kissing even became something you loved doing. And something as simple as cuddling with Kodi made your skin feel like it was on fire. But, Kodi wasn't one for relationships with men ( he too was still closeted). So, that was a short lived but fun journey into your sexual attraction.