Ashes (Clementine X Male Reader Book 2)

Rage-A Dream in a Train

I open my eyes and look around. Trees rush by on my left and right through holes in the walls. I can hear the steady sound of a train running over the tracks. I sit up fast. I'm on the train. How long has it been since I was last here? Years? The last time I remember was when I was about to lead the attack on the Delta's boat. I haven't been back. Not even before Salvation. I'd been with Y/N all night. I wasn't anxious at the time.

I haven't seen Lee in all that time. "Lee?" My voice isn't childlike this time. I sound normal and grown. I stand up and look around some more. I can't see Lee. "Lee?"

"Hey, sweetpea." Lee walks out of the darkness like he normally does. He looks exactly as I remember him. His voice is a little distorted, like I can hear what he's saying, but can't hear his voice. I'm forgetting. It's still good to see him, and I can't contain my tears. I lunge at him and hug him. "Whoa, girl. Easy."

"I miss you so much, Lee."

"I miss you too," Lee says. "But you've got other people that you should be worrying about right now."

"I know."

"Tell me about them. Your daughter and this... Boy."

Clementine chuckles. "They're great, Lee..." I'm not sure what to say about Diana. I want her back so bad.

"I'm sorry, Clem. I shouldn't have asked that."

"You know about them already," I tell him. "I lost Aj, Lee. He died. They shot him in the head... I can't get him back."

"No. You can't." Lee says solemnly.

"Don't worry about me, Clem." Someone hugs me from behind. I know without looking who the voice belongs to. I will never forget that voice. "I'm alright.

I turn around. "Aj." I can't help but break down again as I hug him, holding him as tight as I can. I know that after this dream, I won't wake up to see him. He's dead. "Aj, I'm so sorry."

"It wasn't your fault," Aj reassures me.

"I feel like I failed you."

"You didn't fail me, Clem. You did your best, and that's all that matters." Aj says it, but it doesn't change how I feel. I failed him.

"I know, I just..." My arms collapse to my chest as if they're falling through Aj. I hold them out and look to where Aj was. He's gone, and in his place, my arms are covered in blood. I look at the train floor below me, but it's a street now. Aj is lying dead on the pavement, his blood pouring out of a hole in his head.

I stand up, stumbling backward. I want to puke. I want to scream. I want to cry. But nothing comes out. I can't do anything. I'm helpless. I'm stuck experiencing this with no way out.

A hand wraps around my leg, and I jerk it away, turning around in preparation for a walker. Instead, I'm just in a room with Lee. A dark room with blurry features. There's a gun in my hands now. "Shoot me," Lee says with all the strength he has left. "You have to shoot me, Clem." What? I don't want to. What did I do wrong? Why is this happening to me?

My arms raise on their own, and I close my eyes when I shoot him. When I open them again, he's lying dead against the radiator next to him. Why am I here? Why am I reliving this? Why am I-

"Mommy." Diana's voice rings in my ears. I turn around. "Mommy." I start walking toward her. I can see her. I can reach her.

"Diana," I whisper. "Diana, I'm here. I'm right here."

I never make any progress as I walk. I never get closer to her. She's just as far as she was when I started. I can't reach her.

"Mommy!" She's grabbed and disappears.

I jerk awake, sobbing. I sit up, I can't breathe. Everyone I love dies. They're taken from me. Every single time. I push my hands into my eyes and try to stop the tears, but it doesn't work. So I sit there, alone, crying to myself.

Real arms wrap around me. Gentle and warm. I let them pull me over to him and cry into his chest as he strokes my back. My arms fall helplessly into my lap. I almost expect this to be another trap. For him to disappear and die any moment now.

"It was just a dream," Y/N whispers. "I'm right here. You're ok."

I know it was a dream, but it still felt real. I still hurt.

He kisses the top of my head. "It's ok."

I feel safe in his arms. He makes me feel like I have nothing to fear. As his hand runs down my back and then up again, he clears my anxiety enough that I can manage it on my own. As my sobbing dies down, I let him hold me. I don't try to move. He's real. He's not some conjured-up image meant to torture me. He's here. He really cares.

I don't know what to do, but he's here. He loves me, and he'll be here no matter what happens.

-

She falls back asleep in your arms... Another person you love tortured in their dreams because of William.