hanahaki || haikaveh

4 { sequel }

tw: (a lot of) swear words, self-harm
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"he's always liked you, alhaitham."

"what're you saying, cyno? that's a fucking lie."

"alhaitham, he's saying the truth whether you believe it or not.."

"no tighnari, there's no fucking way im just going to accept the fact that kaveh died because of me—the reason why he even had the disease in the first place! there's no fucking way," alhaitham said with tears forming in his eyes.

"alhaitham, don't cry.. you didn't know; you didn't do anything wrong," cyno said, trying to give some words of comfort.

"cyno's right. you didn't know, therefore it's not your fault at all. please don't beat yourself over it, alhaitham; it's not worth it."

"well, i could've known if i wasn't so goddamn stupid, tighnari. f-fuck, why am i so stupid..? kaveh never deserved to die..." as alhaitham said those words, tears were flowing down alhaitham's cheeks. a few seconds later, he slaps himself harshly on the face, making one side of his cheeks red. alhaitham then covers his face with his hands to try and stop himself crying, and maybe even being able to stop the others from worrying, too.

"alhaitham, don't do that..!"

"shut the fuck up, tighnari. he had so much to live for, but because of me, he's dead. he's fucking dead tighnari, dead."

"....."

"oh, so now cat's got your tongue? exactly, you both know it's true, so just... stop."

"... w-well yeah, it's true, but-... you know what, i'll just.. s-stop. but alhaitham, please dont hurt youself... for us, the others, and most importantly.. kaveh. he wouldn't want to see you hurting yourself because of his death, and you know it the most, alhaitham. we're hurt from his death too, so we're going to go through this together. you're not alone, alhaitham."

"i can't promise anything, but fine, i'll... t-try," alhaitham replied, not saying anything to the words of comfort tighnari gave him. it might've seemed like alhaitham didn't care about those words, but deep down, alhaitham was glad he wasn't alone.

"we'll leave now, alhaitham. i have to go meet with dehya, too. i hope you'll be okay, please stay safe." and with that, tighnari left alhaitham's house. cyno soon followed tighnari after saying his fairwell, and they were both gone.

~

at first, alhaitham hesitated. but he couldn't stop himself—he was just so upset and disappointed in himself. it all started with alhaitham doing self-harm for a few days, then weeks, then months... it just became a habit that alhaitham couldn't get rid of. it was until a year later he finally decided to get help, after a long time of hearing tighnari's and the other's begging.

at first, alhaitham didn't like therapy. he had thoughts of just ditching it, but he decided not to, partly for his friends.. but it was until he finally realized how much therapy has helped him that he finally liked it. he slowly stopped doing self-harm too, and after a few years, he completely stopped. he is now 1 year and 6, almost 7, months clean.

but, despite that, he'll never forget what happened to his dear kaveh.

"i'm so sorry, kaveh."

"i wish i had realized it sooner."