If only you could save me || Imagine Dragons Fanfic

Chapter 28

WAYNE

Finally. The rods are lifted off me and I stand up, breathing in. Damn, Dan wanted to suffocate himself, I cannot believe how bad he had to feel to want that. I hear Ben tell the officer about Dan's Aunt's abuse. I hear them talk about the orphanage and then my mom's friend. About where Dan's going to live. As others discuss his future, Dan just silently stands there, watching me and not even listening. I stand up and hug Dan. I only hug him loosely because I know it would cause him pain otherwise. Then the officer looks at us so we part and he asks Dan,

" Is it okay with you if you live with Rogene Mamas?" Dan hesitates then asks,

" It's okay b-but c-c-can I-" He takes a deep breath, " Can I s-stay with Sermon for a f-few days if that's fine because I don't know that person..." He looks at me, hope in his eyes. I nod. My mother suddenly walks up to us and says,

" Of course, Dan." Then she too gently hugs Dan. He just stands there then says,

" Bathroom."  And walks out of my mother's hug, running off to the bathroom. We all wait for him to come back then I realize what he must be doing. I run to the bathroom, luckily it isn't locked, and walk in. I see Dan standing there with a knife in one hand. He is cutting into his hand when I arrive but then he stops, freezing for a second. Then he just continues sliding the knife down his hand. 

" Dan.." I say and I see tears falling from his face. I put a hand on his shoulder and he winces. I say quietly, " It's okay. What's wrong? Just tell me. Your aunt is going to jail so I guess it doesn't have to do with her. What's wrong?" He takes a deep breath and says,

" You don't understand. Even if she is not going to... Do it anymore, I will still hate myself." He looks up at me, his blue eyes filled with tears, " Even if my Aunt dosen't remind me every day, I am still just a mistake. Don't you see I'm good for nothing? What good did I ever do to you? And admit it, you'd be much happier if you wouldn't have ever known me. Why would anyone like me? What I'm doing right now, cutting, is stupid. I should be happy, but I'm sad. And I'm a monster. I hit you, Wayne! I fucking hit one of the only people who ever understood! You've been nothing but good to me and there I go hitting you!" Then he breaks down into sobs and I whisper,

" But that's not true Dan. You hug me cause I was annoying and that's alright. And I'm completely fine! And Dan, you have depression. But that's not your fault. You. Are. Good. And yes, cutting is stupid, but if it helps you... I'm not going to force you to stop, but please Dan, just try. I'll admit there was a time when I was very depressed and then I cut. But I managed to stop and it was better." That's not completely true, it was very bad, but it was better for my hand and I soon cheered up after that. But Dan doesn't have to know that. He looks up at me and asks,

" Really?" I nod and show him the inside of my arm. There is still a long, pinkish scar visible on my arm. He looks shocked. It's been a long while since I cut, but I still remember the feeling of blood flowing down my arm and how I used to find it reassuring. Good. It was a pleasant feeling. Dan slowly looks from my arm to his and sighs. He cleans the knife ghen says quietly,

" I'll try. I already do. I try, Wayne, but I can't. I need it. " I hesitate then say,

" Just, try, alright?" He nods and we hug each other, though both of us slightly wince. Then we move out of the bathroom and see everyone staring at us. And everyone mostly staring at the fresh blood trickling down Dan's hand. I protectively stand in front of him until they look away and then I look at him. He smiles back. I realize Dan's aunt is already gone. My mother says,

" Well then let's go home, Wayne and Dan." Dan nods and so we set off. When we reach my house, mother tells us to go to bed and she'll call us when dinners ready. So we get upstairs. Dan and I change, Dan into some of my clothes, and I ask,

" Do you want to sleep in my bed?" He shrugs,

" It's fine anywhere." I say,

" Then please sleep with me in my bed." Maybe he can help me sleep... He nods and we lie into my bed. I close my eyes, exhausted. Dan turns in the bed with his back to me. We just lie there for a long time, I don't know if Dan's asleep, but I'm not. I hear my mother calling us and get out of bed. Dan stands up too and we get downstairs and eat. Then we go back and lie back down. Later, I check my phone. Damn insomnia, I think as I see it's been two hours since we lay down after dinner. Dan's asleep so I turn the light down and out it back. I continue trying to sleep and try not to move around too much so I don't wake Dan. Then finally I slide the blanket off of myself and get out of bed. I take my acoustic guitar and start playing as quietly as I manage. I sometimes record what I'm playing, but now I just play with all the different sounds I can make. I slowly slide the acoustic back to its place and get one of the electrics, setting it to the lowest volume before playing with it. I used to use sleeping pills when I couldn't sleep, but it didn't help with my exhaustion so I don't use them anymore. I keep playing for a long time and suddenly I see Dan sit upright. I stop playing and say,

" Good morning sleepyhead." He looks at me, his facial expression confused. Then he just asks,

" What time is it?" I shrug,

" Dunno." Then I check my phone and say, " It's Four A.M" Then I look at him, Aren't normal people - people without insomnia - supposed to be asleep at four? I tilt my head, "You need more sleep." He sighs and nods then says,

" But I can't sleep." I out the guitar down and lie back into my bed, moving as close to Dan as possible without touching him. He puts his head on my chest and I ask,

" Better?" He nods and soon falls asleep. I gently stroke his hair down. I can't go back to playing my guitar, or I'd wake him. So I close my eyes and try to sleep again. Nothing. So I lie in bed, awake, until Dan wakes. I check my phone, it's eight forty five. Dan takes his head off me and stands up. He looks at the phone and says,

" Oh we're almost late for school." Damn, school. I remember getting expelled. I sigh and say,

" You're almost late for school, not me." It's not like I liked school but first of all, Fred needs a beating, and second, now I have a bad reputation. Then I add, " I suppose you've been wondering what's the truth. It was Fred. He did that to me and he lied that I did it." He nods,

" I thought so." Suddenly my mother enters the room and says,

" Well hello there boys! Breakfast's ready! But neither of you dare go to school today - both of you are going to the hospital." Both Dan and my eyes widen,

" You can't be serious..." I say. I don't like the hospital. It freaks me out. I add, " Of course dan has to go he's very hurt but me? Oh come on mom! They won't even treat me, I'm healthy!" She shakes her head,

" No matter how much you beg, you are going. Both of you." Then she suddenly looks more concerned, as she asks a out our problems, " Dan, have you cut yesterday? And Wayne, have you slept?" 

" No." Dan says at the same time as I say,

" Yes." She nods, though she doesn't seem to believe either one of us. She says,

" Dan, I saw you after cutting at your house yesterday, and Wayne, I heard you play all night." I look down and then ask,

" Wait then weren't YOU sleeping?" She hesitated then said,

" Well you were playing before and after I fell asleep." I grin,

" No proof." And with that all of us chuckle.