Ecidora| Woosan

40 ∙Finale

In my dreams I am kissing your mouth, and you're whispering 'Where have you been?'
I say 'I've been lost but I am here now. You're the only person who has ever been able to find me.'
Sue Zhao

Wooyoung had bought himself a bit of time since his departure with Yunho. He roamed the house in search of Yeosang, but only to find himself back in his disheveled bedroom. The stress of never seeing his lover again began to finally set in. What if San miraculously showed?

What if he tries to be a hero? Wooyoung thought. The new thoughts, and nerves eventually took over the original ones. At this point he wasnt even focused on the wedding.

It felt wrong to pick up his room, like it was a moment trapped in time he for some reason didn't want to let go of. He shuffled around to his bedside table, which held his old journal in the drawer. Wooyoung scooped the book up with a sigh and began to flip through the pages.

His thumb stopped as the pages became less and less full, eventually the entries ended. He never really realized he had stopped using it, it became a little futile to talk to paper as San snuck into his life. He flipped to San's entry.

San

That's what his name is. They brought him in today, he doesn't look like a servant though. He looks like a prince. Just slightly...untamed. He has pretty raven hair, his soft honey skin was glowing even without the sun reflecting on it. His sharp dark brown dragon eyes stare right into your soul. He really is beautiful. Stop, that's weird. Too far..

Wooyoung cringed, slamming the book shut.
"What a stalker I was." He mumbled to himself, slightly flustered. He sat himself down on the canopy, staring down at his shoes.

How had everything moved so quickly? Just months ago he was writing about this mysterious boy who had come into his life. Now they were running away; It all felt like some anarchic fairytale.

But it all felt right, he knew it was the right decision, the path he was taking with San was the right one and he was sure of it. There were just so many obstacles first. This felt like the last one, but they were far from ready at the same time.

Wooyoung rolled over on his bed, he hugged the silk pillow to his chest. Sometimes he thought of what could have been, if they never fell in love, or if his father had killed San like he had said.
Or if Hongjoong was alive.
He sighed, he couldn't help but feel at fault for that, for leaving him in such conditions to the point he would get so sick. But it wasn't, what could he have possibly done?
What if he was never royalty, if he got to live a regular life and be with whoever he wanted, without all of the backlash.

Selfish.
He thought.
He should appreciate it, right? Even though it had ripped his childhood from his hands— Stripped him of every sense of identity he'd ever hadnt, destroyed his perception of Intimacy.

Yeosang was the first person to show Wooyoung compassion, what it was really like to be not just heard but listened to. Although the two became distant over time, there was so little time to see each other after their schooling.