Dear Boom Diary: A Skylanders Retelling

Welcome to Woodburrow

Looks like I crashed right before I finished writing about yesterday's events. The saying normally goes that people fall asleep reading, yet here I was doing that while writing. Anyhoo, where do I begin for today?

June 14th

Dear Boom Diary,

I was woken up by footsteps. That, and the lapping of the fish pond. I slowly cracked open my eyes and saw that folks were moving around the infirmary, getting ready for the day.

Knight moved into my vision. "How are you feeling?"

My migraine was much better. "Like I could fly my ship around Boom Town's perimeter in five seconds flat! Twice!" I jumped up, and starry vision dampened my boast.

He caught me, supporting me. "For the supposed best pilot in Skylands, it seems that you have more bark than bite."

"Ha ha," I rolled my eyes. "You'll see that I am the best after Stealth recovers my ship!" My stomach rumbled, and I looked down at it. "But first, I need to fill my own fuel reserves."

The vampire nodded. "That's true, but what we do here may not be the same as where you come from. Tuk needs some time to get the food ready." He turned to a tunnel I hadn't noticed when I was on the cot. "In the meantime, how about you get washed up?"

I looked at the main pool. "What about in the main one?"

"Not with the fishes! That's disgusting." He nodded to the other tunnel. "Everyone except cyborgs and robots cleans up in the side cavern's showers."

I started searching for the races in question. "If they don't use water, how do they...." My eye caught a magnet-headed robot squirting oil on itself from a bottle with a fire golem's face as the label.

"Oh." I cleared my throat, trying to sound more confident. "I mean, of course Magnet Head uses Hot Head's trademark Flaming Fragrance instead of water!"

Knight chuckled. "It's called Magna."

I followed the winding tunnel that he indicated, and ran into Tessa emerging from an opening in the wall.

"Morning, Flynn." Her head pointed into the cave that she just left. "If you're looking to get washed up, you'll find the showers in here."

The inside was rather similar to Boom Town's swimming pools' locker rooms: the same earth golem who made the Rubik's cube last night must've shaped the cavern into numerous passageways. In each were a few open slots with wooden benches and shower spouts. To my right, a fox butler literally appeared out of thin air.

I leapt backwards. "Whoa! Doofus, how'd you do that?!"

"It's magic," Tessa explained before he could do it himself. "One of Hoot's enchantments cover up the occupied rooms with an illusion of the cavern wall. You have Wash to thank for the water system." She smirked. "Furthermore, we know how to maintain everything when the Swap Force is away."

I turned to her, eyes wide. "Alright, I'll admit it. You know a lot more about STEM than I thought."

I entered the room that Rufus just left, set my clothes on the bench, and enjoyed a nice, scalding shower. I then returned to the main cave, where Tuk had returned with his food cart. This time, I chose some fish as my meat.

Spy was nearby, eating while looking at a hologram on his left fist with five color-coded regions. I sat down next to him. "So you're the cyborg who can tell me all about the Broken Clouds Islands, huh?"

He looked up. "It's Cloudbreak."

I smiled. "Perfect! Now, I have a very important question. What can you tell me about Cloudbreak? Specifically, Iron Jaw Gulch's enchiladas?"

His jaw dropped slightly. "Uh, I wasn't expecting to be asked about food." He cleared his throat, raised the hologram to my level. "Let me tell you about everything else, based on the data I've collected..."

...

The Broken Clouds Islands' four main regions are protected by an equal number of gigantic animals, the Ancient Elementals.

The closest region is guarded by the Ancient Flashywhoswhatsamaisit. The places he protects include Woodburrow, Waterfall Valley, Muddy Basin, and the Islands of Wrecked Sheep. He personally resides in Muddy Basin, keeping an eye on the Gillfolk. A small group of them also calls Waterfall Valley home, which I think is where the Greebles were taking the Chieftess and her councilors. The Islands of Wrecked Sheep were mostly deserted thanks to the Sheep Mage wanting to keep his paradise free of intruders; we compromised with him a few years back to designate a small segment of the archipelago for visitors.

The next-closest region is guarded by the Ancient Tree Person. Her regions are often confused with the Flashywhoswhatsamaisit's because Muddy Basin and Illusory Backwoods are both filled with trees. The key difference between them is that she prefers temperate climates, while he likes the tropics; he's a fish, after all, and needs the moisture.

The third is the Ancient Frosthound, whose domain is freezing locales like the Islands of Bones, Holiday Castle, and Frostfest Mountains. The Frost Elves hail from the Holiday Castle, and have an outdoor museum in the Islands of Bones. There have been rumors of Bigfoot coming down from the Frostfest Mountains to the Yetis' village once per year. However, I've never seen physical evidence of them. They might be a legend, for all I know.

The fourth Elemental is the Ancient Terrasquid. She - yes, the Terrasquid opts for the pronouns "she/her/hers" - favors arid, dry places like Iron Jaw Gulch, Junk Village, Careening Caverns, and the Pile of Clocks. IJG, which the renowned Pepperjack graces with his presence when his schedule permits it, gets the parts for its acclaimed enchiladas from the Flashywhoswhatsamaisit, Tree Person, and Frosthound's regions. Junk Village is a collector's dream come true, holding almost anything that you've ever imagined. If you can't find something you want, chances are you can get someone to build it from the stuff that the place does have. The Terrasquid's known to let people climb on her tentacles as they're navigating the Careening Caverns. The Kangarats at the Pile of Clocks are in charge of managing time itself, and Cluck once tried destroying the place. Flynn, remind me later and I'll tell you about how Magna and I stopped him.

The fifth region, guarded by no Elementals, is the Broken Clouds Islands' outskirts. The only data I have is that this is where Kaos lives. He's tried multiple times to take over Broken Clouds' four main regions, such as erecting statues in random locations and clogging our toilets. Yesterday's Greeble attack is out of character for him, which has me worried.

...

My head was spinning from that infodump. "Uh, that sounds confusing... and kind of weird..." I glanced at his hologram, trying to remember what's guarded by who. "also confusing."

The cyborg shut off the hologram. "It can be to a newcomer." He laughed. "I also have a habit of giving out too much information. I mean, I have all this data stored up, yet the opportunity to apply it never arrives!"

"Ditto!" I jabbed my chest with my thumb. "I'm the best pilot in Skylands, yet half the time people ask someone else for help flying stuff around!"

A puff of green smoke appeared next to us. "I think they have a good reason for that, Flynn, considering you got us lost on our way over here."

I scowled. "Stealth, I had everything under control until the rodents attacked. I just needed a bit of quiet to figure out where I was supposed to go." She shrugged. "Anyway, are you ready to help me recover my ship later?"

"That was a misunderstanding. I never said that I'd recover your ship, just your luggage."

"If we can get more people together," Spy offered. "we could do both. Of course, Free and Boom won't be available since they'll be searching for the Chieftess and her advisors in Cascade Glade." He stood up, made his way towards Tessa. "Speaking of which..."

I tried eavesdropping on their conversation, but they soon started talking about mundane stuff like weather conditions. So, I've been doing something much more interesting by recording this morning's events in the diary.

I just looked up, and it looks like they're finishing their conversation. I'd better do the same since we may get to work recovering the Dread-Yacht soon.

Yours Truly,

Flynn